weeiiirrrddd!!! Usually by now, i would have written or ranted about something! D:

Oh well here I am what should I talk about?

With all the crazy things that are happening in our lives in regards to chemistry, I wasnt so sure when our schedule will be okay once again. Fortunately, last saturday, I finally got a text from the class president that we finally have the class schedule...

Mondays and Fridays, we say goodbye to 2 hour breaks as 1pm-2pm is taken by chem...
Wednesdays- UGH! 5pm-6pm!!! *DARN IT!

Click the pic to understand better.... o.o


There! I revised my class schedule just for chem... o.o

Theeennn for today, i pretty much studied the whole morning! O____O 3 subjects down, two more to go then I can relax for the rest of the day :)) Here is my things to do...



yeah the manhid part is about him :))

Change is inevitable but change is a really good thing, but it can also be a very bad thing. It can make me a better or a worse person.

Yet I dont want the kind of change that makes me a worse person. I know change is not easy especially for someone like me, but I know that change will help me become a better person in reality. =)

by Chris Taylor

*thanks to maidens of worth for sharing :)
http://maidensofworth.org/

I'm in the mood for a breakdown
A slowing down of all the things on my mind
That keep on trying to figure out how to pin You down

In desperate need of a shakedown
A blowing down of all the ways that I try
To talk You into a corner until You look like me

But when I finally see what You see
There's a symphony
I hear a symphony

Words cannot define
What it means to be
In Your symphony
In Your symphony

A long awaited let down
A burning through that's calling me back to You
With a beautiful melody of all You love

It's welling deep inside of me
It's springing out, the song that I'm meant to sing
So teach me the harmony to all You love

Hearts in unison
I'm drawn into Your love
Hearts in unison
I understand Your love

The question has been nagging me for some time now. But what exactly do I want to delete? To be really honest, my dear reader whoever you are, I want to delete my facebook account. You may ask why I want to do such an act. The answer is really simple, I want to start a new life. I dont want to remember all the pains I have felt brought by the social networking site. In such a site, all my heart's unreasonable desires are coming right at me- its plain mockery for me, and mockery is pure insult. :| I dont want to use the social networking site anymore because of such reasons. Knowing that this only means running away from my problems that are only fleeting as what the bible says but for me these problems stretch out throughout the lifetime. Deep down, i know this means cutting myself from other people, by the people whom I have met and have shared my time with.

I often ask myself the deep questions recently. I know it distracts me from school and all but I know I have to finish this once and for all even if it entails me to start a new. I may have to delete my first fb account, make a more private one and even with yahoo messenger, because there are people whom I really don't talk at all, its purely ridiculous to keep the contact and not even chat at all. :| I know its being selfish but then how can I be a better person if I just cant let go of the past. I ask questions that make me cry more and more and more. I dont blame him for making myself fall in love with him. If i still force my emotions, I know I will be more prone to emotional problems.

This is actually my last blog post before I say goodbye to my laptop. It may not be a big thing to many people, but for me, it means saying goodbye to all the things I held on to. All the memories, all the sweet precious memories will be gone. So I guess its goodbye once and for all.

a shocking day i must say. a day where new things can happen, and the unusual happened to us!

WALA NA SI CHEM LEC PROF!!!D: He dropped our subject! :(( Its a waste!even though he already humiliated me once, I can say I'm gonna miss him. especially the before class anxiety panic attacks I get. It keeps my thoughts away from the unnecessary things in life!

Now we face a new dilemma. who is our new chem prof? what will our schedule be? will we still be sane after this?! wheee more questions lesser answers. typical... :|

My second day of the second semester. It's easy to simplify my thoughts this time because the idea of a terror professor has finally sunk in, and I can't choose my professors *BOO!! :(. Okay so Thursday a first day, new professors to meet, new irregular classmates, and long in between breaks.

7am Psychometrics Lab
Psychometrics Lec yesterday has still left a teeny weeny spark of fear in us. A while ago, it gave us a sense of anxiety on whom our professor(s) will be. So we waited and waited and waited until Sister came in. Which made us all heave a sigh of relief, and while she was discussing some of our requirements in class, in goes another prof who is actually her co-professor. It was okay for us because he sometimes proctored our class and he's a cool guy. He's the kind of the father figure, and sister is well the sister figure :)) Since it was only the first day- we got dismissed early which turned our 1 and a half hour break into a 3 hour one.

Break
as usual, I have with me my crochet things, which took a lot of my time during the break. It was also a productive break since me and my classmates had a "panel discussion" which focused on the different topics such as endtimes, back masking, and even politics. LOL!

Organic and Biochemistry Lec is equal to HELL!
Self explanatory

World Lit
a very interesting subject *since I like to read myself* but maybe its the prof's antics that is very interesting :)) I dunno which is funnier. I like her very much except when she said that we will do role plays and stuff. D: and make us even dance!

Okay so with those three subjects I need money to buy the book for chem and for world lit... psychometrics lab will use the same book we use in lec. And i need my books asap so that I can attend their classes. D:

Profs section:
Not mentioning any names. :P But anyway, I guess we have the right balance of terror and lovely professors. 2 terrors: 7 non-terrors :)) more non-terrors yehey! but then the two terrors are overwhelming D: I dont LIKE! D: I think both of them are insane! seriously! D:

Oh well, I just hope the semester turns out well, on the bright side, tomorrow we will only have social psych and mass then I can buy all the books I need and go home... :) okay I think I'll stop here for now, I still have to study social psych.

Ciao! :)

Second Sem, how do I describe my first day of the second semester? :| I really don't know how to express how I felt as the new semester came up. :| My heart has been too tired but my brain no longer wishes to hear what my heart has to say. Yeah my emotions are going through a series of roller coaster rides for a long time already.

Anyhow....

Okay so I will be sharing how this first day went, and since it will be another first day tomorrow- I dont have anything to DO at all well except for read Social Psych which I completely ADORE! <3

First subject- Organic BioChemistry
Yeah you read that right- ORGANIC BIOCHEMISTRY!!! And the same place for the lab(oh no... *flashbacks) So technically, while waiting for whom our professors will be, everyone in class (well almost everyone except for some) are screaming on top of their lungs on how long they haven't seen each other. :| It was weird at first but then I know that is how they rock and roll (and I <3 P3 to bits for that). And MY INORG CHEM LAB PROF (the guy) entered with a DIFFERENT Partner (*whew!). So after discussing on a teeny weeny bit of what we are to expect in ORGANIC BIOCHEMISTRY, he said that we are unlucky *especially the aspiring med students(which includes me! NOOO!!!!) because the two complicated subjects are merged into ONE BIG COMPLICATED SUBJECT. Great. :| It was 45 mins later when he dismissed us. Okay now for a 2 hour and 15 min break before the next class which is social psych

Break- PART 1
This break actually doesn't exist. but when the classes are suspended early, we get a big break. Luckily, i was learning how to crochet a scarf which gave me something to do within the break. :))

SOCIAL PSYCH is <3
Social Psych! :D I am so happy because our prof here is our FAVE PSYCH Prof. Even if we did have a few bumps with her during first year but now we are great friends. :) And we also got our first book! Which is expensive T_______________T (read:$$$$$$$$)

BMA LAB
a 2 hour lab which was finished in less than an hour :( which means hello to another LOOONNNGGG BREAK! :/ I dunno if I really like long breaks or not :|

Break- PART 2
This time, I went to the lib not to sleep but to crochet! I know I had seemingly gotten myself hooked to it. And I dont have anything to do at all! D: So almost 3 hours of break was spent crocheting and sleeping. *I did sleep in the Payungan area :))

BMA LEC!
another FAST subject since we have the same prof. Then after the attendance he left us and a bunch of seniors asked us to help answer a survey for their thesis... :| Then in the middle of the test, our prof for Psychometrics came and was a bit upset because he wasnt informed. Technically, they informed the wrong prof.

PSYCHOMETRICS
Last subject. Everyone of us was tense because it was our first time to encounter this prof. I'm not mentioning any names, but he was very strict. I guess I can live with it, since I already encountered worse professors. *woops:))

Oh well, I'll stop for now :)) Tata! :)

YEAH BABY!!! :D I passed!!! I couldn't have done it without God's help. :D Thanks so uch Lord for helping me throughout the sem... and best of all, I still have a REGULAR LOAD!!! :P I feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy right now!!!! :D

Even if I wasn't able to be a DL this sem... next sem, I will be a DL!!! *PROMISE!!! :D



my GWA is a FLAT DOS!!! :D But then its a shame that I wasnt able to get the two unos... :| OH WELL!! :D

I'm STILL HAPPY! :D AND I CAN GO TO BORA IN PEACE!!:D

I'm just too tired


I just hope Bora can ease even a teeny weeny bit of pain inside... :|

never again will i speak to him?
never again will i smile with him?

NO MORE!!! I dont want to! why cant i let go of the past. when all i will ever be is in so much pain!?


*sigh*

Yeah I'm glad that its already sembreak. :) I'm just too tired these days to even blog about everything that has been happening.

To be honest, no matter how many times I already said to myself that I want to let go, my heart is one big stubborn piece of emotion. :| It wont let go, no matter how much I tell God that I should stop being selfish. It just wont have the courage to let go. Oh darn it I still miss him so much. I miss the times we used to laugh and argue even about the simplest things in life. I miss the times he used to really really bother me even when I'm studying for school and all that. Most of all, I will miss the times he used to listen and laugh at my nonsense which makes letting go all the more painful. I dont wanna hurt myself anymore because if I still force myself these feelings then the more it will be hard for me to cry and admit what has been inside me for the longest time.

I still hurt and I miss him so.

Yes these days, I have to admit that I have been so selfish. Whatever the reason I cannot bring myself to admit. Often, I have always sulked in self pity but in front of others, I show off an image that projects a good image. But deep down, I still have my pains, my hurts, and even my tears.

I find it hard to depend on God these days, but I want to depend. Why am I afraid to fully submit to His will? I want to give my total submission to Him, because I promised that He will be the Lord of my Life. I promised that I will live and give my all for Him and for Him alone. I want to give my all for Him, but why am I still afraid? O Lord, give me strength. I'm lost without You.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Saturday morning 3am, I woke up to a rainy day. Little did i know that Saturday will be one heck of an adventure. Instead of getting up being excited and all with NSTP, my brain still continued producing melatonin which made me doze off more. Once again, I was back in dream land not until an hour later when I was awakened by a text from my classmate asking if we have NSTP or not. I looked outside and saw that the rain was already that bad. I wasn't so sure if we will have NSTP that day or not. Since I didn't receive any announcements, I told him that we are still going to have it rain or shine, and he still made sure twice and I was telling myself: ignore undesired behavior!!!

5am, my mom finally woke me up and asked me if NSTP will still go on as planned. And I realized how stupid it is for me to call NSTP office at 5am knowing that no one will be there. *hits head with the wooden back scratcher)* So without any announcements, I sent a gm to my groupmates saying that everything will go as planned. So I got read for school and before reaching UST, i made a quick stopover at Burger King and bought my food, since I was still in pain from my wisdom tooth, i can't eat anything much but sandwiches/ burgers. Upon arriving at UST, it was raining hard but we can see buses lined up waiting for us. I was with P3 when they decided to start boarding the bus. Much to my dismay *I wanted to go home at this point*, we also had to start boarding the bus- knowing full well that the trip will not continue 100%.

At the bus there is the Prof who couldn't stop talking. Oh well, he provided some cool information but sometimes the info he shares are like okay i can't relate. But anyways, we traveled for around 2 hours going to Bulacan and upon arriving our suspicions are proven true. No Classes for students in Bulacan so technically,we have no choice but to go back to Manila. By then rain was pouring HARD! My dad even told me that I should just wait at UST before going home since FLOOD WATERS HAVE EVEN REACHED OUR GARAGE!!! *which never happened!*

So with that in mind, I braced myself for the worst for that day. Then we had a stopover at one of those gas stations which have restos and crs for the people. Yes there was Starbucks but I didn't decide to buy since I don't wanna scream for a restroom in the middle of a highway. After being dragged around by my classmate, I finally reached the bus and sat down again, the rain was pouring wayyy waaay HARD! And my expression was like

O________________________________________O

yeah go figure...

Then after the stopover, my prof came in and collected our bus fees... *highway robbery!* then it was time for a LONG trip back to Manila.

On NLEX, traffic was way bad. It took us 5 hours just to get out of NLEX. So technically, many girls screamed for a restroom and many suggested various ideas for them to relieve their bladder problems. Some suggested the bottle method, others suggested running a long long way to get to get to a proper restroom while finally the driver gave a brilliant idea. There is a box outline on the floor and he opened that box that led outside the bus! O__O technically the guys have to stay in front while the girls have to stay at the back. Refusing to give up my seat, I stayed put where I am. Finally when we reached the end on NLEX, a surprising sight greeted us. Flood waters were REALLY HIGH UP, no wonder no one dared venture to the waters. It was deep!

Then we got stuck at C-3. Oh daaaamnn!!! Traffic was way worse there. Luckily we were there for only 3 hours. From time to time, we would open the TV and see what is happening with the news. :| Many of us were really really shocked to see the water levels. It was almost like Noah's Ark there! O___O So at C3, the prof decides to tell the story of UST and it's unseen visitors.

UST was actually used as a concentration camp during World War 2. The 2nd and 3rd floor of the building is where the people are imprisoned. The first floor on the other hand is where the torture chambers are. The grandstand was a graveyard then. BUT- seeing ghosts in the Main Building is normal, seeing ghosts OUTSIDE the main building is scary. In your building they say that you can hear footsteps going up the main stairs of the main building, then of course there is the priest walking around without a head

Yeah thanks so much for the story now I cant sleep. Then my dad called me in the middle of the story telling and asked me to let the prof talk to him. HAHA!! my prof was terrified when I gave him the phone. :))

Okay cutting the longer story short, when we made it out of C-3, we ended up in Del Monte. Okayyy so everyone was screaming for food. And some are starting to get UTI in the bus. So the prof had no choice but to tell the driver to stop at a food shop where we can buy food. Luckily the shops has restrooms and everyone was super happy that they can finally go to the restroom.

My parents decided to pick me up at A. Bonifacio. And my classmates are literally begging me to adopt them for the night. There was no way that they want to go back to UST and be stranded and risk the floods, so my parents agreed.

Then the rest is history...

---
edit: Wah! finally done, this entry was overdue since yesterday... oh well...

Yeah decided to shift my attention from emo-ish feelings to school. But I guess right now I cant seem to focus on the really important aspects of school, and all I'm doing right now is blog in by the pain i still feel deep down. No matter how many times I tell myself that it's almost over, I can still see myself screaming back: NO! You are still not okay.

They say time heals all wounds, it's almost a month since i found out that painful reality. I thought to myself maybe after a month I can be better, but no I guess I need a lot more time than I expect.

I still miss him...

---
School

Damn! Educ psych! I'm having a hard time answering the guide questions. The movie was long long ago already and watching it can add to the sabawness. Yeah hopefully after blogging I can finish what I have to do. Especially since I want to sleep early tonight.

I'll stop, the heaviness is back again...

35 REASONS NOT TO SIN

* Because a little sin leads to more sin.
* Because my sin invites the discipline of God.
* Because the time spent in sin is forever wasted.
* Because my sin never pleases but always grieves God who loves me.
* Because my sin places a greater burden on my spiritual leaders.
* Because in time my sin always brings heaviness to my heart.
* Because I am doing what I do not have to do.
* Because my sin always makes me less than what I could be.
* Because others, including my family, suffer consequences due to my sin.
* Because my sin saddens the godly.
* Because my sin makes the enemies of God rejoice.
* Because sin deceives me into believing I have gained when in reality I have lost.
* Because sin may keep me from qualifying for spiritual leadership.
* Because the supposed benefits of my sin will never outweigh the consequences of disobedience.
* Because repenting of my sin is such a painful process, yet I must repent.
* Because sin is a very brief pleasure for an eternal loss.
* Because my sin may influence others to sin.
* Because my sin may keep others from knowing Christ.
* Because sin makes light of the cross, upon which Christ died for the very purpose of taking away my sin.
* Because it is impossible to sin and follow the Spirit at the same time.
* Because God chooses not to respect the prayers of those who cherish their sin.
* Because sin steals my reputation and robs me of my testimony.
* Because others once more earnest than I have been destroyed by just such sins.
* Because the inhabitants of heaven and hell would all testify to the foolishness of this sin.
* Because sin and guilt may harm both mind and body.
* Because sins mixed with service make the things of God tasteless.
* Because suffering for sin has no joy or reward, though suffering for righteousness has both.
* Because my sin is adultery with the world.
* Because, though forgiven, I will review this very sin at the Judgment Seat where loss and gain of eternal rewards are applied.
* Because I can never really know ahead of time just how severe the discipline for my sin might be.
* Because my sin may be an indication of a lost condition.
* Because to sin is not to love Christ.
* Because my unwillingness to reject this sin now grants it an authority over me greater than I wish to believe.
* Because sin glorifies God only in His judgment of it and His turning of it to good use, never because it is worth anything on it’s own.
* Because I promised God he would be Lord of my life.

http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2009/08/35-reasons-not-to-sin/

I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

I promised myself that I will be strong so that I can be able to smile once again

I promised myself that I will not tolerate any feelings.

I promised myself that I will not be hurt again.

I promised myself that I will forget about him.


But I broke those promises. I cried, I cant bring myself to smile, I tolerated the feelings, I'm hurting again

and worse: I still remember him...

Its already 9:30 pm and I'm still confused with ethics... must finish ethics before 10:30! go me! :D

10:08 finished until part 3 of Ethics, starting with Educational Psychology... o.o around 30 pages to read... :)

Except for the weird jolibee burger feeling in my tummy, I guess I dont feel as sad as I did yesterday. Bipolar much. O.O Maybe I shouldn't take things too seriously. Me and my shallowness. o.o I wont let my "emoness" get the best of me today. I want to have a good day not an emo day. :)

Well for today I'm excited for the fellowship later. I hope I can make and cultivate new relationships with the new comers. :)I also hope that the invisible barrier will be destoyed. :P

It's weird that I dont have much to say these days. Oh well to play or not to play world of goo? :))


Oh wait before I leave my "non-existent" blog, I just wanna share this, yeah I have been playing country story, another playfish game. :) Yeeey Playfish! Although I stopped playing RC, for the time being. :P

Yeah title pretty says what is going through my mind. I dont wanna eat Jolibee at night anymore because last night I ate a burger but then the food seemingly dosent want to be digested in any way! So I'm like, "Okay I have to let the food digest properly" So I stayed up until 2am until the weird queasy feeling was gone. argh my tummy still feels weird right now. :O

It's Only The Fairy Tale
Yuki Kajiura

Who are those little girls in pain
just trapped in castle of dark side of moon
Twelve of them shining bright in vain
like flowers that blossom just once in years
They're dancing in the shadow like whispers of love
just dreaming of a place where they're free as dove
They've never been allowed to love in this cursed cage
It's only the fairy tale they believe


The lyrics truly reflect what I feel. :|I'll never be allowed to love in the cursed cage called pain. =| Emo much again. Hay oh well, truth found out, back to reality.

Well I'm still here... it's been a while since school has been piling up on me again. Well for now, I'm taking a break from studying and I decided to blog quickly before I finish studying for the night.

Yey 10am prelims schedule. :D

Currently studying theories and statistics. What a challenging combination but of course there are worse combination HAHA!! :)) Oh well, i gotta go. Blog again on Thursday! :D must fix stuff must fix stuff! OC mode OC mode! Exam permit, Calculator, Mongol number 2, books, sanity, ballpen, TONS OF FAITH!

The title actually is a song. Haha but then last night was super fun. It was one heck of an adventure. Yep you guessed it right. Last night was my debut. Finally after a year of planning, everything went well. Despite the rain, the people still came. :) I feel super blessed last night because of the people, the bonding, everything :D

Thanks to everyone who went :)

anyways here is the lyrics of Roses of May

LYRICS:

her heart underneath
cries quietly
this part of me
I choose not to see

what lives must I take
for fealty's sake?
how much blood must stain
this warrior's blade?

war leaves its trail
in moonlight so pale
its shadows they flow
in rivers, in rivers
so put on my mask
I'll go where they ask
so I might once again see the
Roses of May

Staining my soul and stinging my eyes
the red on my hands
won't wash away, wash away
no where to run from what I have done
I'm no longer, no longer
a Rose of May

fate holds the blade before you
mirrored in maiden's eyes
far from myself I fly
into the perilous skies
and they said
follow the blade before you
fear fall and courage rise
leave all your tears behind you
far from where innocence lies

Cage of the kings
No need for wings
So turn them to stone
from roses to bone

when you look at me
what do you see?
this costume I weave
disfiguring me...

(chorus A)

Storm clouds are creeping closer
danger is drawing near
why am I not protecting all that
I once held dear?
and you said
break free from all that holds you
kings hand and maiden's tear
run now into my arms
together we'll conquer our fears

Led here by fate
No longer afraid
So here now I lay
My Roses of May

When I try to feel my heartbeat against my chest, everytime it makes me want to cry for one reason. My heart beats for God. :)

To be honest,I wasnt really planning to type that. Instead, I was gonna say that memories suddenly resurfaced when I was with this guy. Now, i dont think that mindset will last... God has been telling me about dependence on His will. Even if submission is the hardest thing to do, I want to because I love God for who He is in my life.


Okay. 3 days... :|

And Instead of studying my lessons, I'm here blogging. Great. =/ Okay so since I have a lot to study I'll make this quick. The gown arrived just hours ago and is now hanging in my room. The mannequin is also here but I moved it to the other room. HAHA!

And guess what tomorrow is HELL DAY! WHEEE!!! :| Have to study for Chem Lab and Educ psych for a quiz. We also have ethics and TOP recitation. and I cannot be ignorant this time... booo.... =| For the record, Adler is an interesting person to study. His ideas are a bit parallel to Freud's but then since they worked before their friendship ending sourly, I'm not surprised with the contrast.

Oh well. Back to work.

3 days 20 hours 59 minutes left til the day. All the best. :)

-Cia

And as much as possible I'm trying to stay calm with this whole party planning business. I just hope school will NOT be a pain in the ass through this time. =/

I met 2 singers on the net thanks to youtube. His name is Halyosy. :3 and I just found him through a Pikachu! :)) Of all the songs he sang, I liked the song Melt. It made me cry- A LOT!

Here is the translation in english:
English Version

Wakin’ up in the morning,
I only had one thought inside my mind.
Yes, it was you.

Had a haircut the other day,
So you could notice and then say to me,
“Why the new style?”

I throw my jacket on and the silver skull ring on my right hand.
I step outside and tell myself,
Today, you will see how bright I really can be!

Melt! I’m melting as I think of you.
And even so, I’m too shy to say ‘I LOVE YOU’
However, Melt!
I can’t even look at your eyes.
However will I get my feelings across to you?
It’s you that is holding my heart still,
After all.

Forecast this morning,
Was wrong and left me unprepared again.
Now I’m caught in the rain.

Could’ve got an umbrella.
From a store somewhere and then I heard her sigh.
I see a girl leave. Oh, was it you? And then, I say,
“Do you mind if I walk with you,” as you unfold the parasol.
I hope you didn’t see my face was burning red,
And now I am falling in love with you!

Melt! Oh, I am hardly breathing!
As our hands touch, you’ll see,
I’m trembling! My heart beats hard.
All of this just because we’re sharing this umbrella!
Just nearly close enough, to feel your breath. Oh, what to do…
Oh, please, God, just stop time forever.
This waterfall of tears has started. Don’t know if it’ll ever stop.
But I’m so happy now,
That I could just die!

Melt! The time of parting has arrived.
Though we will meet again, oh, until then, you’ll disappear.
And again, Melt! Oh, God, please tie us forever!
Already missing you, I never want
to say goodbye.
I take you in my arms and say “I love you,”
…In my dreams

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqetiEvrM1Y

I dont wanna go to school tomorrow. Maybe its because the rainy season is not good for me at all. I DONT WANNA STUDY CURRENT ISSUES|| I DONT WANNA TAKE THE BMA TEST|| I DONT WANNA TRANSLATE SOMETHING LIKE IONIZATION ENERGY IN TAGALOG and most importantly

I DONT WANNA STAY BORED FOR ANOTHER HOUR IN ENGLISH 4!!!

But I dont wanna fail so I have to live with it. Damn.

I am not in the mood to do the LTS HW. NO WAAAYYY!!! =( I still have my dignity. I just hope that the cockroaches will NOT decide to swim tomorrow. or else, I will NOT do the HW in LTS!!! D:

*Sigh. This is gonna be another one of those debutante nightmares. I really noticed that for the past few days, my dad is more irritated by little things and my mom is getting more irritated by dad's crankiness. I think I know the reason why.

Me.

Seriously, my dad and my mom arguing about my debut makes me feel sad and responsible for this mess. I feel so unhappy right now that they are arguing more and more. I want to honor my parents but then I wanna be angry with them for arguing at such a time as this. I find it hard to honor my parents because of this. If only they can stop arguing, maybe I can stop crying for the past few days. I find it really hard to cope with such things and I feel more uneasy as each day passes by. I dont want to butt in because I know its adult talk they might put me aside like a little kid or tell me that its none of my business. I feel sad and hurt and I feel like having cold feet and its getting colder by the day. I personally cannot bear this because if paranoia soon settles in, I might force myself to the guidance room every day of the last 2 weeks before my debut!

I need to give this to God. I need to give myself to Him. He knows what I am going through right now.

Well for now, I'm still resting but trauma has settled right inside my brain again. ugh. Okay so I'll be narrating how this week went, no matter how FUN or how DEADLY this week was.

Monday-
ugh Mondays. Never liked mondays that much. Maybe its because it marks the start of the week. Luckily nothing much happened that day except we had a quiz in BMA (Behavior Measurement and Analysis- PSY 234).

Tuesday-
This Tuesday is supposed to be different from all other TTH classes. Supposedly, we are to have a 5-7 make up class in Educ Psych but our prof was absent. Whooo so instead of classes ending at 7pm, our classes ended at 2:30 pm. YEAH! We also had our first lab experiment. Luckily no padlocks fell on my head :))

Wednesday-
Wednesday. Midweek. Ugh. No quizzes whatsoever, i wasnt called for english speech. chem prof taught more on chapter 6 yeah pretty much a normal day O_O.

Thursday-
THE START OF HELL DAYS! chem lab prof was a HUGE PAIN IN THE BUTT! Wont accept our postlab. Our test tube brushes went missing. ARGH! Then PHILO QUIZ was super hard. Its like the prof expects us to memorize the whole thing. Then Educ psych prof was super terror. She actually wanted us to have a make up class that same day from 5pm-7pm. FYI I dont want to! I have a gown fitting. Since everyone dosent want it during the same day, we objected heavily. So its gonna be next tuesday. Damn her.

Friday-
Bad day. Bad bad day. Say started well but ended in hysteria/paranoia/insanity. RUS was okay. then bad rain. bad bad sign. Psych team held a quiz for new members to join. Had a hard time during the quiz. BMA seatwork was fun but hard to count. 99 scores. O_O Wheeew! Chem quiz, 4 pages, 20 minutes, wasnt able to finish the last page... Darn. 5 points per item. English damn. Speech activity went bad, quiz was all identification. DAMN!

yeah hopefully today will be better. =(

As the title says I have been counting a lot these days. Yep,It clearly means that the big day is drawing near. People are awaiting for that day with glee and anticipation, while I count for the day with anxiety and excitement. 20 more days til the big day! :O

Okay so I ranted about that part, on to more important things. One, well last saturday was the debut of my best friend and she looked stunning on her hot pink dress! :D That Saturday, my hair was in curls :)) EECK!! HAHA just kidding. I was also a part of the 18 candles. :) The food was great HHAAAHA!! The desserts were yummy too! :D Really had a fun time at Jay's debut! :D

Then I bought a new book while I was gift shopping for Jay last Friday. It was also the reason why I was super late in class. Haha but it's okay. I was only marked late. :) Promise that will be the first and LAST! :D And for the record, the book I bought for myself is called Do hard things. It speaks about teenagers rebelling against LOW EXPECTATIONS. Its written by teens for teens. Authors are actually the younger brothers of well known author Joshua Harris(I kissed Dating goodbye series).

Then I have a feeling that someone is mad at me. I dunno why but its not like that person not to talk to me. Hmmm... i wonder what is wrong? Argh! I dont like having enemies! :( awwww.... friend! Don't be mad at me! D:

I have less than 4 hours of school and tomorrow I have classes for 12 straight hours! :( 7am-7pm classes. I feel like I could die there. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE!!!!! I need to breathe! :O

Okay I gotta go! Will blog again when I have the time... D:

Wish me all the best... :3

Which means that the big day is 26 days away... :/ I dunno if I should be happy or not. Happy because finally all those months of planning will finally pay off. Not happy because then the school year will be in full swing and I am uncertain if majority of my invited guests from uste and jubilee will come. Aiya. Okay I dont have much to say yet. Maybe I'll blog later. :3

And I am not making any effort to study at all. Darn it! I'm lazy again these days. I should not be lazy for many reasons. Its obvious that if I don't study, I end up as a bum. *Bumming is not good at all!

Anyways, I posted a lot of pictures in facebook and multiply, for some reason is getting slower as time passes especially when it comes to posting pictures. Waaa!

Okay so am being random again: Doing the 25 random things about me survey :))
1. I should be studying BMA right now.
2. I like the song One Winged Angel
3. I need to breathe!
4. I like my new blogger template.
5. I plurk daily so that my karma points will go up.
6. First subject for the day is Current Issues with Rural-Urban Societies
7. Note: Print the pictures!!! :D
8. ARGH!!! Its this Saturday already!!! O_O
9. I have to present the Promo this Saturday.
10. I wanna play Ultimate Frisbee! :)
11. Suddenly, I have a craving for Doughnuts :))
12. 27 Days to go. :/
13. I like Theories of Personality
14. I hate English class
15. I am so HAPPY that I dont have Filipino anymore!!! :))
16. I recall that we had the highest score in our Filipino Paper. :)) *Proud!*
17. I Like Chem Lab
18. My Prof in chem lec has a weird Resemblance to my Physics teacher
19. Because of the weight of love, which hurts the closer the other gets, when our hearts were separated, that is when I call it freedom.
20. New Lanyards and Name Plates Baby! :D
21. It feels weird having no one to talk to
22. I will definitely be tired tonight
23. Waaa we will have a chem lab quiz tomorrow!
24. Can't I just sleep again!? :))
25. Its weird that I am still alive after weeks from school. *Stressed!*

I'm still ALIVE!!! Wahoo! :D And there is around 20 hours before my next class oh boo!

Okay so since I became a bit "dead" since school has been bombarding my life, I guess its time for another update (since this is one of the rare moments when I dont have to study or anything... BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm so weevil!).

Okay so school. School is Yuck. HAHA kidding. School has been on going for 2 weeks despite the epidemic of Ah1n1 around the world. 5 colleges around the university were closed since there are cases of the epidemic. *Extra vacation for those people. Boo!* Anyways, let's see there is Medicine, Nursing, Rehab Sciences, Engineering, and Accountancy. Yeah no more sembreaks for those people! :))

Okay on with my college. Well school is pretty much normal. I was sick for the next two days after the first day of classes which was not a good thing. I practically missed a lot of things. Oh boo for that! Psych subjects are namely, BMA, Educ Psych, and Theories of Personality. Minor subjects this time are Chem Lec and lab, English, SCL, and Christian Ethics. Psych subjects are FUN! I personally like BMA and Theories of Personality better than Educ Psych. Haha maybe I'll like Educ Psych if Mam Cess was the prof. but Mam Joy is also a great prof. :) BMA means Behavior Measurement and Analysis 1, for short its Behavioral Statistics. Sir Ryan is our Prof and he makes learning fun. :)) ducks from classmate's angry protest then my fave of all: TOP!!! Mam Vargas is the BEST!!! Even if her tests are Identification type, Its fine with me! :) She makes learning interesting. HAHA I'm a fan of Sigmund Freud because of her. If I discover something, she will be the first one in my acknowledgments. :))

Then we have the minors. I'll start with English. The last subject every MWF class. The most boring subject ever!!! And the time is soooo boring. I mean sleepy head na ako sa class ni mam. And she never calls my name whenever I wanna recite. She must be paranoid for me getting sick. Ugh! Then we have Current Issues with RUS. RUS means Rural Urban Societies, which means we have to be always on the news watching whatever is happening. If that is possible. Ugh! Then there is Christian Ethics. I personally find the subject interesting. What i dont like is the rooms. The room assignment is super ugly that we often have a hard time coping with the class. Having Christian Ethics lectures in a physiology lab is not fun at all! =( Then there are the Chem subjects. Chem Lab is okay and it really looks interesting! :)) and we have 2 profs there. But then they are really good in what they are doing as in O_O. Then my fave among the minors is chem Lec. For some reason, my prof being a "pilosopo" makes chem more fun and him having a CREEPY resemblance to my Physics teacher during 4th year high school is weird but at the same time funny. Think making jokes when you are not certain whether you will laugh or not. :))

3rd week starting tomorrow. Luckily quiz in BMA was moved. I had no idea whatsoever at all! O_O

ONE MONTH TO GO!!!

Awww man! It's already the last day of summer and I'm not that excited to go back to school! Anyways, its been a while since I last blogged. Yes I blogged a lot this month since days are dull. This is my last day of bumming! =(

But no, I didnt bum today like I normally do for the past couple of days. Ever since yesterday, I was hooked on a game called Plants vs. Zombies. Darn it! Why do i easily get hooked on this game?! I had to defend my house from zombies who wish to eat my brain. HAHA! =) Yeah so, I pretty much ignored Restaurant city for that. HAHA! =) Well i guess it's time to finally retire from RC and start the school year RC-unaffected.

Also, for the past couple of weeks, my left eye is giving me some problems so, we decided to go to Achi Julie's clinic for check-up. Even though it was far, super fun time there haha i wasnt bored. :)) Also, shobe had her eyes checked at first which shows a higher astigmatism rather than me. My eyes were also checked only to find out that my left eye has a grade which affects my study time and my computer time. Well I guess it came from the late nights of sleep and paperworks during second sem. Well that's a thomasian. So for short, i wearing glasses. Yes I have to wear then whether I like it or not.

This is what my glasses look like:




I leave it to you guys to guess what I look like with the glasses... HAHA!! =)

darn it i wanna play ultimate frisbee today! T_T

click to zoom! =))

to let go...

---------------------------------------------------------------
sorry readers for being not in the mood. there are even times when I tell myself not to even bother with this but since there is the possibility that some would still continue to read this. well, i thank you people. well being sad must be something with 2nd year coming and not yet wanting for summer to end. I dunno.

well I guess the reason lies in the concept of the heart. yeah its the heart once again. no matter how hard i try to push thoughts of him away, it always kept on coming back. I just hope school can erase a bit of the pain i have right now.

by Within Tempation

If I tell you
Will you listen?
Will you stay?
Will you be here forever?
Never go away?
Never thought things would change, hold me tight
Please don't say again that you have to go

A bitter thought
I had it all
But I just let it go
Hold your silence
It's so violence since you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
'Till the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

If I had told you
You would've listened
You had stayed
You would be here forever
Never went away

It would never have been all the same
All our time what have been in vain
Cause you had to go

The sweetest thought
Had it all
Cause I did let you go
All our moments keep me warm
When you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
'Till the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

I don't feel like myself today. Argh! I knew I shouldn't have slept yesterday during the afternoon. Now I feel all groggy and tired and haggard! And stressed! I couldn't get a wink of sleep last night, I always end up waking up from some nightmare that I don't remember. I don't think I even reached stage 3 of sleep. I always seem to wake up every 2 hours and then I would sit up and then wait and ponder, and then I would lie down and try to close my eyes but then my brain would start projecting images of horrifying things that I cant seem to recall. Then I would attempt to soothe myself but then nothing still seems to have worked. Darn it! I would definitely not sleep late this afternoon. Its only a pain in the ass if I do that.

Anyway so instead of waking up super late today, my biological clock woke me up at around 8am. 4 hours after waking up at around 4am. Darn it! My brother was still sleeping like a log when I woke up and he did not have any trouble sleeping unlike me! That is so unfair!

So leaving that part behind, after taking a shower, my mom told me to go downstairs to see a nice surprise. My Aunt dropped by and she gave me a dress that my cousins picked for me.:) Awwww that's so sweet! *hugs to my cousins! :)and she also returned the magazines that I lent for my cousin who is going to celebrate her 18th on September. :) Whew! All us girls in Mom's side are having debuts whether we like it or not. Ugh! Oh well, I have to obediently follow the traditions.

I'll be back later! :) Tata! :P

I cannot believe that its almost 4pm. And worse, I cannot believe that I slept from 1pm-3pm! Darn it! First of all I dont wanna sleep in the afternoon no matter how lazy/ bummed I get! It causes me bigger problems in my daily routine!

There is one big problem which bring other sub problems with it: INSOMNIA! If I sleep in the afternoon, I find it hard to sleep at night. Period.

The sub problem that goes with it is: since I cannot bring myself to sleep easily tonight, what must I do? It's called boredom at night. I dunno what to do tonight since my sister is sick and still cant sleep in my room (cross out the late night talks). I also find reading too boring at those times (reading psych books just to finish a report at 2am is a major head ache) even if those are not psych books! Running the computer on a late basis isn't good for it especially since it has recently undergone defraging, and obviously, not everyone I chat with stays during late hours.

Oh darn it what am I supposed to do now?

Yeah like the title says, I'm using someone else's computer as of this moment. Well, I cant do anything since my laptop is defraging. I dunno what defrag means, maybe something to do with fragments. Ack! I dunno. But then like the usual me would say OH WELL! :) At least some of the emotional drain is gone. But i do feel a bit bad discouraging a friend of mine to take the same course as I am taking right now. *I should be encouraging my younger brothers and sisters in Christ but I discouraged them. ducks from flying tomatoes from the invisible audience

Well maybe its the after effect of being emotionally drained. Ugh! Oh well since I'm not that emotional anymore, I guess its on to lighter/ simpler things for now. :) despite the internet mysteriously missing from time to time, i had a short nap which were interrupted by a series of texts from Ruth. Haha! oh well she's the shobe I'm spoiling them. I tried to answer her questions as easily as possible haha she does text hard hitting questions, and I love her to bits for that. :)

My dad made me install a new program which is about cleaning the drive from all the excess unnecessary things. I did try the program on my laptop and woah, off goes 300+ mb of space in my laptop. Hopefully with that my laptop will function faster, and since defraging is going on I hope the laptop really functions to its full potential like it used to be. HAHA! =) tralalala! :)

Darn it the big day is less than 2 months. Luckily, my mom intervened and asked an old friend to help me with something I am super scared about. Its the ROSES!!! I'd better get started with this or else I could faint on the workload on this. Something tells me that July 26 will really be an interesting night.

*yawn! I shouldn't have slept a while ago! I would most probably turn into an insomniac tonight! Since Shobe is sick, she cant sleep in my room which leaves me to sleep all alone tonight. Darn it I'll be awake the whole night. If only I hadnt slept a while ago. Thank you Ruth for waking me up. :)

I'll try to blog back later. HAHA!! =)

I know, its not that often when I get to blog about my emotions. I mean if someone does read my "non-existent blog," they wont be that interested in this topic. I mean my blog is boring enough for some how much more my emotions. Gah. Anyways since no one practically reads this non-existent blog, better blog how this day became emotionally draining for me.

So a while ago was our YSC reunion, and wow the responsibility of the reunion was placed on our hands (our meaning me, Kutchi and Benj). At first it seemed like its impossible to really accomplish something like this. I mean Camp was already the biggest thing and reunion is like camp which is big also. The thought was already too much for someone like me. When the reunion started everything was fine, but when the games came, time was running out and the 3 of us wanted to keep in track of schedule. In the end all ended well, but something wasnt right with my emotional being. I felt depressed again for reasons the heart cannot comprehend.

I guess its the pain with love. Love seems to be out of reach for someone like me. haha oh well, like many say I'm too young for love. Fine I'll focus of studies once school comes. But maybe its better if we really are friends, I mean we see each other at church regularly and we are good friends. yeah friends, i guess that's all we'll ever be.

Because of the weight of love, which hurts the closer one gets,
When our chests were separated too far, I called it freedom

I guess letting go has been harder than I thought.

What does Russell Watson and Yiruma have in common? They are great Musicians!

Okay so for the past few days of roaming around the net, I discovered an old friend whom I absolutely adore! <3 Its none other than Russell Watson. He was the partner of Hayley Westenra when she sang Pokarekare Ana. Its hard to believe that he's 42 when looks like he's in his early 20's!



See! Super cuteee!!! >.< Its also hard to believe that two years ago, he had a brain tumor that had to be removed. Either way, I still love the way he sings the songs especially "Where my heart will take me" <3!!!


Then there is also Yiruma. Shobe was the one who introduced me to this guy and its all because of Twilight. I'm not an avid fan of Twilight or anything, but I'm the type of person who loves classical music even if its from Twilight. SO there with the song "River flows in you," I fell in love with Yiruma's music! :)) *did you think i'm gonna say twilight?! :)) no way!Edward Cullen was never my taste:))*
This is what Yiruma looks like:



Whooo go Yiruma! Support all the way! :)

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RC UPDATE!
School will be starting next week which means my Facebook time/ RC will not be as used as it was during summer. Right now, I'm trying my best to reach level 25 although i don't think it will be that possible.

Currently, I'm at level 24 i wanna reach level 25 but then its like 20k+ to go!!!

and here are the latest in what's happening in my RC:

Well I'm not that bored. I just dont have any idea what to do yet. I guess I'll be finishing the Praise and Worship songs tonight so I dont have any problems with Saturday night. I dont wanna cram it again :)) Technically, that 's what my blog is all about for today, finding something to do since I have been deemed bored beyond reason. Aww man. :))

-Ciao!

I didn't promise that i would narrate how my enrollment went the other day, but since I am a person who easily gets bored, let's get this started.

I woke up at around 6 in the morning and after preparing myself for what is to come, me, mama, and ahya went to school. It was already past 8 when we arrived and we parked super far away from the seminary gym which forced us to walk from Albertus Magnus building to the Seminary Gym which was on the other side of UST. When i arrived, i cannot seem to find anyone I know! So i was a bit scared that everyone could have already enrolled leaving me all alone with a lot of students from Educ. Luckily, i saw my classmate Mike, aka Espia walking around looking lost so i called him, when he saw me he just greeted me and then went inside. Instead of following him, i went to the boards to see which PE was left. Sadly, it was Social Dancing which was the only one with the schedule that I want*. With that i took a paper from the guard and wrote the code for soc dance. Boo me. I also saw Joyce and she took the same thing. Yey for classmates.

I went inside the Seminary gym and saw lots of students holding a contract like thingy. Me and Joyce were a bit confused on what to do there so I went and asked a student from Educ what she was holding. She was nice enough to point us to where we can get ours. After getting our copies, I read the front page only to realize that this was the exact same thing from last year. Darn it. So instead of reading the back part, I signed the waiver and the pledge to some stuff that didn't interest me. After giving it to the lady and having it signed, me and joyce went inside to have everything else done.

Inside, i encoded for my PE and guess who encoded mine, it was my softball prof from last sem. So since we knew each other, we chatted and i asked him to be my prof but he said that he cannot since i might get tired of him. Oh well fiineee! so i went to the next computer and encoded for LTS. Fine I took LTS despite having kids around. Well since i'm a psych major, its applicable. So when i was about to leave the platform where the computers are, i saw Jhen and she was laughing at how i looked like when i said soc dance.

Then came the part where I have to line up. At this point, I asked God for guidance as I do the waiting game because i was concerned with my ma, and ahya since they were waiting for me. So i waited in the assessment of fees which was quick and then after my fees were assessed i was told to go to lane 12. So when i arrived, the line was loooonnnggg.... around 20 or more people are in front of me. Instead of being pissed off, i waited and waited. And here is the great part: I was going through the list of subjects and imagining what life would be with those kinds of subjects when suddenly the lady in front of me tapped me and told me to look front and the person who was behind the tables asked my what my credit card was. i saw the line of people looking at me and the people in front of me moved to the left. So i said, Citibank. When she heard me say Citibank, she told me to go in front of all the people. Wow talk about answered prayer. So I paid my tuition in full and I encoded my OR, then had my ID sticker replaced.

now, as I look back, it was a funny yet simple experience on how God worked in my enrollment. Haha! below is the final class schedule for second year this time with the PE



Ciao! :)

Whoo 3 updates for the merry month of May! Yeah! anyways, enrollment will be on June 1 and ahya just enrolled this morning. He's gonna be taking up LTS, and his PE is Table tennis (and my mind screamed: the prof there curses!*), but knowing what his PE was gives me a problem with PE schedules to choose. I hope there is still room for even handbell... Please! :) I also plan to have my Pe class during Fridays, so that it will be for my advantage. 9am PE's please!**

On the other hand, its official! The class schedule i posted before is FINAL! Here is an updated version by my classmate Dan.



Yeah it sucks, especially the fact that i have night classes. Oh boo to that! Will make another one by June with the PE.

On the other side, where i freely choose to forget about school, another thing pops up into my mind. We will be having a inter-Sunday School competition by which we will have to compete with other students in different classes. I'm kinda nervous and I have decided to start studying seriously only this afternoon but then the problem is that i'm still lazy to a certain point. Tomorrow, I will definitely study! :D

Lastly there is Restaurant city, a small App that has taken the whole Facebook community by storm. lots of pics here! yey! anyway, yeah since the April post, I have been hooked with Restaurant city and to be honest, i dont know how i got hooked, someone just forced me to play and now, wheeee!!! I'm nearing level 22! :D Go me Go me! :D The gameplay is like sims, you have to take care of your employees for them to work at their best. Then you have to upgrade your ingredients so that earning GP (gourmet points) will be easier and faster. You can also change the decorations to make the restaurant that can match your personality. Below is what my restaurant looks on the outside. =)



and here is what it looks on the inside:





and here is a zoomed version of some of the employees who work. the person who had me hooked is there! Find that person!




and last bout not the least, the cute vendor!!! HAHA!!! He may be cute but his products are too expensive!!!! =))



Okay so i think I'll stop here for now. Nytie and Tata! :D

----------------------------------
*as to what some people have told me
**since classes start at 2pm and there is no use going home after PE (mom doesn't want me to spend money going back and forth to school -oh well)

I was supposed to do this post yesterday but fatigue and depression suddenly hit me again. Damn you hormones! Anyways, since last week, i have been playing volley ball and at first i really didnt enjoy the sport, I mean there were some varsity players! But in those two weeks, i learned to love and appreciate the sport. :) Yesterday was the last time I played volleyball with my team, and it was the only time that i got a service right! Wahooo!! :D During those two weeks was also a time of pain since i suffered from bruises. My right arm is still sore from playing within the two weeks but now the bruise seems to already have disappeared! Yey! :)

So blessings truly abound in this summer. Despite the fact that i have stumbled a couple of times, i have been doing my best to maintain a close relationship with God. Blessings such as having to play volleyball, meeting new friends, and cultivating the friendship with them was worth the pain and the bruises in volleyball.

Its almost Ahya's birthday!!! :) Happy happy birthday from all of us to you! :D


Oh yeah and here is just something a bit random... HAHA!! I just took a psychologicl test regarding my concentration skills and well i think the results are pretty much normal... for me...HAHA!! =)

Tactics
Your results indicate that you use many strategies to help you concentrate. You may have a little difficulty getting started on and completing tasks on the rare occasion, but for the most, you know what to do to help you stay focused. Although this does require a certain act of will, there are ways to keep your mind on track and lessen the tendency to daydream. It is likely that you do use many of tactics, but may need to add to your repertoire. Keep in mind that they can not only help increase your concentration span, but also make it less likely that you’ll get bored, frustrated or distracted.

anyways i think i'll stop here for now... :)

Ciao! :)

Its the merry month of May. Which practically means one thing...

It's almost time to go back to school. Oh no!!! Going back to school has its pros and cons. For pros, first and foremost, I'm a Sophomore! Yey! No more Freshie treatment. It's getting kinda crappy boring sometimes. Next on the list is that there is no need to adjust to the environment of UST. Being familiar with a lot of places, i don't think i would have any trouble finding my way around. Hehe :)

BTW, I ALREADY HAVE MY CLEARANCE!!! =))

for the cons, first of all is my schedule. DUH! I dont wanna go home by 7pm and be at school the next day at 7am! HOW do i know what my PE is then?! better get a PE from 9am-11am on Mondays.

this is my POSSIBLE sched for 2nd year first sem



*click to zoom*yuck! O_o or maybe have a PE during wed or for the best solution sat PEs.

another con is that 2nd year psych means CHEM! Oh no! I already had traumatizing experiences with chem! I'm gonna need help from the Chem majors around church. or for the school matter, chem nerds in class! and then, being called atsi around is like *UGH!!!* I feel older! I might walk around in school and people who might see me around might start calling me: Atsi Ciarah! and my classmates might start calling me that as well. HAHA!! Paranoid! LOL!


C: C: C: C:

Anyways, enrollment will be on June 1. So Pe's are more probably less, more likely my choices will be super limited. And i will be needing a better PE. Mom still wants me to go for Soc Dance but i dont wanna!

Darn it! Why does College of science have later enrollments. There, even I'm affected.

I just hope everything will finally be sorted out by the end of the end of the week (meaning the writeup for family camp, the things to do, the reviewing of school stuff etc.)

and then for the last thing, I'm gonna start playing volley ball tomorrow! Ack nooo!!! O_O I'm scared actually but maybe playing the game can help me loose at least a couple of pounds off. :D

I'll end for now.... C:

so April is almost over and a lot has already happened for the past few weeks after my update. for one, i still don't have my clearance which is starting to piss me off. second, this summer is a weird one since its already raining so early. :O third, many people are going to grow up this week and a lot has grown since last week. Whoo! *cough*blowout*cough* :D fourth, well i think this should be the time to update what is happening in my life.

1. Facebook
-yeah. i am addicted to facebook. thanks to my church friends, i am using my facebook more than ever. HAHA!! more than multiply.

-i'm addicted to three applications there: Restaurant City, Guess the Sketch, and Pet Society. Shoti(aka Johann Go) had me hooked to Pet Society, Ithran had me hooked to Guess the Sketch and Restaurant City, and Abi added to the addiction in Restaurant City. :)

-quizzes there had me hooked HAHA!!=))

2.Multiply
-i'm not using multiply that much because of facebook. HAHA!!=)but its still working and i have uploaded 4 albums for the merry month of April. :)

- Albums include:
a. YSC
b. family camp
c. resurrection sunday
d. summer the thomasian way (cockroaches are included :D)

3.YSC update:
Since, i dont have enough time to make a big YSC update, I'll copy paste from my multiply site. HAHA!! yes dear,I'm bored. :) and this is one whole blog :))

hey all! i just came back from camp last sat and since then i have been trying to post all the pics as fast as i can but then multiply wont cooperate with me. ugh.

well many are asking me how camp was. it was FUN, especially with the new responsibility of being part of prog comm. despite the stress associated with the responsibility, it gave me the sense of satisfaction to see the many delegates enjoy what we have planned for them *thanks guys! you deserve a hug for being such good sports*.

then the seminars and workshops. :) i can relate a lot on the seminars and then the workshops were so fun! two thumbs up for devo comm! :D

but then the sad thing is the free time. our group went to sm baguio and the market. i felt so disappointed because being in sm felt as if i am back in manila. but the photo-ops made up for the disappointment in sm baguio. then we walked from SM to the market which was a long way but was also okay since we were able to go around the market.

----------

ugh i'm so tired already. attempting to post all the pictures by today wont be much help for me. i'll try to finish everything by tomorrow. sheesh uploading 300+ pix used to be easy ugh XD

oh well I'll stop here for now. :) whoever you are reader i hope you didnt get too bored by this. HAHA!!! :D


*btw, kinikilig pa rin ako :D :D :D

okay,i know that blockquote is long HAHA!!:)



4. family camp.
- okay, family camp was when i really bonded with so many people. :)todo bonding with friends from the lower batch and with friends from the higher batch.

- then helped with the kids (by which so many of my lower batch friends wanted to be in my place. HAHAHAHAHA!!! guys, you know who you are!)




so there is my update for the Merry month of April. Until then, Ciao! :)

And since no one technically looks at this blog. i kinda consider this as my haven of some sort. yeah sometimes life can get really dull and i have been able to reflect upon certain issues with my life. I'm still pissed off at the fact that the school WONT GIVE ME MY CLEARANCE. they say that i have to print it somewhere but where?! Damn. I know i shouldnt be bitter but i was on top of a mountain at that time. Now i really dont know if i will be able to enroll in school for next sem. Darn it. i wanna call the school but here at home, it's already pretty much hectic with all the housework i have to help around since one of the househelp suddenly went off without telling us something. ugh. we already have many problems of our own and they are adding up. like blocks and blocks and blocks. (yes i'm bitter, live with it).

the only good thing i think is that the weather seems to be better unlike before. its no longer hot and the days have become more cooler with the blessing of rain. and tomorrow i will be having some friends over for practice for the variety show this saturday. yeah saturday will be a great day, hopefully. i hope i wont mess up with the testimony that i have to give but still i feel as if i'm being spiritually attacked by having experienced a lot of bad things lately.

and of course there is the part where me and my bs call it the "like life" not "love life" because we only have crushes. well anyways, yeah i like this guy but then how can he like someone like me. i mean physically speaking, i'm not that much to look at. i'm plain. i feel disgusted when i'm wearing something not modest. let's face the truth i'm not that thin at all. and besides, being surrounded by thin people make me more conscious so there. i ranted i let everything out.

This is going to be my first blog entry for this year. Whew! maintaining so many social networks could be tiring. HAHA!! :) Anyways, since its been a while I decided to do a school update. YSC update will be posted sometime in a couple of days later. :)


-SCHOOL-
so about school. like in my previous posts, I am a psych major studying in the Pontifical, Royal Catholic University of Santo Tomas. Whew! that's a long name for a school which is nicknamed uste.

OH WELL! :)

School is over and I am enjoying a well deserved break! :)) and I can say that I am really happy with how my school year ended. for now at least i can still say that I am still a Thomasian. Grades were released last week during camp and it was weird, I didnt feel scared when i was looking at it and guess what?! :D

I PASSED!!!!! :) :) :)

Yes, i passed my second sem with good grades and I dont need to bother myself for summer classes at all! :D Whooo hooo!!! :) for you dear reader to understand what i mean:



Now that i have an assurance of a school-free summer, now i can focus my mind into more important things like: studying my past lessons (since almost every psych subject is a pre-requisite of what we are learning), learning a new hobby and even visiting some of my classmates who have summer :)) HAHA!!!! :D

Also, I saw my curiculum for second year first sem. And Whoooo i do have a lot more subjects this coming school year when I will no longer be a freshie but a sophomore! :D Whooohoooo!!! College rocks! :D

BTW, here is my subjects during 2nd year first sem:


so there. I'm kinda scared for it but then i just have to trust God in this, and do my best in school.

Question is: which is better? CWTS? or LTS?
what PE should i take? handball? korfball? swimming?! soc dance?!?!?!?!

?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i'll do an update next time about that haha! :)