Friday, November 27, 2009
The question has been nagging me for some time now. But what exactly do I want to delete? To be really honest, my dear reader whoever you are, I want to delete my facebook account. You may ask why I want to do such an act. The answer is really simple, I want to start a new life. I dont want to remember all the pains I have felt brought by the social networking site. In such a site, all my heart's unreasonable desires are coming right at me- its plain mockery for me, and mockery is pure insult. :| I dont want to use the social networking site anymore because of such reasons. Knowing that this only means running away from my problems that are only fleeting as what the bible says but for me these problems stretch out throughout the lifetime. Deep down, i know this means cutting myself from other people, by the people whom I have met and have shared my time with.
I often ask myself the deep questions recently. I know it distracts me from school and all but I know I have to finish this once and for all even if it entails me to start a new. I may have to delete my first fb account, make a more private one and even with yahoo messenger, because there are people whom I really don't talk at all, its purely ridiculous to keep the contact and not even chat at all. :| I know its being selfish but then how can I be a better person if I just cant let go of the past. I ask questions that make me cry more and more and more. I dont blame him for making myself fall in love with him. If i still force my emotions, I know I will be more prone to emotional problems.
This is actually my last blog post before I say goodbye to my laptop. It may not be a big thing to many people, but for me, it means saying goodbye to all the things I held on to. All the memories, all the sweet precious memories will be gone. So I guess its goodbye once and for all.