Monday, July 27, 2009

The title actually is a song. Haha but then last night was super fun. It was one heck of an adventure. Yep you guessed it right. Last night was my debut. Finally after a year of planning, everything went well. Despite the rain, the people still came. :) I feel super blessed last night because of the people, the bonding, everything :D

Thanks to everyone who went :)

anyways here is the lyrics of Roses of May


her heart underneath
cries quietly
this part of me
I choose not to see

what lives must I take
for fealty's sake?
how much blood must stain
this warrior's blade?

war leaves its trail
in moonlight so pale
its shadows they flow
in rivers, in rivers
so put on my mask
I'll go where they ask
so I might once again see the
Roses of May

Staining my soul and stinging my eyes
the red on my hands
won't wash away, wash away
no where to run from what I have done
I'm no longer, no longer
a Rose of May

fate holds the blade before you
mirrored in maiden's eyes
far from myself I fly
into the perilous skies
and they said
follow the blade before you
fear fall and courage rise
leave all your tears behind you
far from where innocence lies

Cage of the kings
No need for wings
So turn them to stone
from roses to bone

when you look at me
what do you see?
this costume I weave
disfiguring me...

(chorus A)

Storm clouds are creeping closer
danger is drawing near
why am I not protecting all that
I once held dear?
and you said
break free from all that holds you
kings hand and maiden's tear
run now into my arms
together we'll conquer our fears

Led here by fate
No longer afraid
So here now I lay
My Roses of May

Thursday, July 23, 2009

When I try to feel my heartbeat against my chest, everytime it makes me want to cry for one reason. My heart beats for God. :)

To be honest,I wasnt really planning to type that. Instead, I was gonna say that memories suddenly resurfaced when I was with this guy. Now, i dont think that mindset will last... God has been telling me about dependence on His will. Even if submission is the hardest thing to do, I want to because I love God for who He is in my life.

Okay. 3 days... :|

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

And Instead of studying my lessons, I'm here blogging. Great. =/ Okay so since I have a lot to study I'll make this quick. The gown arrived just hours ago and is now hanging in my room. The mannequin is also here but I moved it to the other room. HAHA!

And guess what tomorrow is HELL DAY! WHEEE!!! :| Have to study for Chem Lab and Educ psych for a quiz. We also have ethics and TOP recitation. and I cannot be ignorant this time... booo.... =| For the record, Adler is an interesting person to study. His ideas are a bit parallel to Freud's but then since they worked before their friendship ending sourly, I'm not surprised with the contrast.

Oh well. Back to work.

3 days 20 hours 59 minutes left til the day. All the best. :)


Sunday, July 19, 2009

7 days to go

And as much as possible I'm trying to stay calm with this whole party planning business. I just hope school will NOT be a pain in the ass through this time. =/

I met 2 singers on the net thanks to youtube. His name is Halyosy. :3 and I just found him through a Pikachu! :)) Of all the songs he sang, I liked the song Melt. It made me cry- A LOT!

Here is the translation in english:
English Version

Wakin’ up in the morning,
I only had one thought inside my mind.
Yes, it was you.

Had a haircut the other day,
So you could notice and then say to me,
“Why the new style?”

I throw my jacket on and the silver skull ring on my right hand.
I step outside and tell myself,
Today, you will see how bright I really can be!

Melt! I’m melting as I think of you.
And even so, I’m too shy to say ‘I LOVE YOU’
However, Melt!
I can’t even look at your eyes.
However will I get my feelings across to you?
It’s you that is holding my heart still,
After all.

Forecast this morning,
Was wrong and left me unprepared again.
Now I’m caught in the rain.

Could’ve got an umbrella.
From a store somewhere and then I heard her sigh.
I see a girl leave. Oh, was it you? And then, I say,
“Do you mind if I walk with you,” as you unfold the parasol.
I hope you didn’t see my face was burning red,
And now I am falling in love with you!

Melt! Oh, I am hardly breathing!
As our hands touch, you’ll see,
I’m trembling! My heart beats hard.
All of this just because we’re sharing this umbrella!
Just nearly close enough, to feel your breath. Oh, what to do…
Oh, please, God, just stop time forever.
This waterfall of tears has started. Don’t know if it’ll ever stop.
But I’m so happy now,
That I could just die!

Melt! The time of parting has arrived.
Though we will meet again, oh, until then, you’ll disappear.
And again, Melt! Oh, God, please tie us forever!
Already missing you, I never want
to say goodbye.
I take you in my arms and say “I love you,”
…In my dreams

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I dont wanna go to school tomorrow. Maybe its because the rainy season is not good for me at all. I DONT WANNA STUDY CURRENT ISSUES|| I DONT WANNA TAKE THE BMA TEST|| I DONT WANNA TRANSLATE SOMETHING LIKE IONIZATION ENERGY IN TAGALOG and most importantly


But I dont wanna fail so I have to live with it. Damn.

I am not in the mood to do the LTS HW. NO WAAAYYY!!! =( I still have my dignity. I just hope that the cockroaches will NOT decide to swim tomorrow. or else, I will NOT do the HW in LTS!!! D:

Sunday, July 12, 2009

*Sigh. This is gonna be another one of those debutante nightmares. I really noticed that for the past few days, my dad is more irritated by little things and my mom is getting more irritated by dad's crankiness. I think I know the reason why.


Seriously, my dad and my mom arguing about my debut makes me feel sad and responsible for this mess. I feel so unhappy right now that they are arguing more and more. I want to honor my parents but then I wanna be angry with them for arguing at such a time as this. I find it hard to honor my parents because of this. If only they can stop arguing, maybe I can stop crying for the past few days. I find it really hard to cope with such things and I feel more uneasy as each day passes by. I dont want to butt in because I know its adult talk they might put me aside like a little kid or tell me that its none of my business. I feel sad and hurt and I feel like having cold feet and its getting colder by the day. I personally cannot bear this because if paranoia soon settles in, I might force myself to the guidance room every day of the last 2 weeks before my debut!

I need to give this to God. I need to give myself to Him. He knows what I am going through right now.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Well for now, I'm still resting but trauma has settled right inside my brain again. ugh. Okay so I'll be narrating how this week went, no matter how FUN or how DEADLY this week was.

ugh Mondays. Never liked mondays that much. Maybe its because it marks the start of the week. Luckily nothing much happened that day except we had a quiz in BMA (Behavior Measurement and Analysis- PSY 234).

This Tuesday is supposed to be different from all other TTH classes. Supposedly, we are to have a 5-7 make up class in Educ Psych but our prof was absent. Whooo so instead of classes ending at 7pm, our classes ended at 2:30 pm. YEAH! We also had our first lab experiment. Luckily no padlocks fell on my head :))

Wednesday. Midweek. Ugh. No quizzes whatsoever, i wasnt called for english speech. chem prof taught more on chapter 6 yeah pretty much a normal day O_O.

THE START OF HELL DAYS! chem lab prof was a HUGE PAIN IN THE BUTT! Wont accept our postlab. Our test tube brushes went missing. ARGH! Then PHILO QUIZ was super hard. Its like the prof expects us to memorize the whole thing. Then Educ psych prof was super terror. She actually wanted us to have a make up class that same day from 5pm-7pm. FYI I dont want to! I have a gown fitting. Since everyone dosent want it during the same day, we objected heavily. So its gonna be next tuesday. Damn her.

Bad day. Bad bad day. Say started well but ended in hysteria/paranoia/insanity. RUS was okay. then bad rain. bad bad sign. Psych team held a quiz for new members to join. Had a hard time during the quiz. BMA seatwork was fun but hard to count. 99 scores. O_O Wheeew! Chem quiz, 4 pages, 20 minutes, wasnt able to finish the last page... Darn. 5 points per item. English damn. Speech activity went bad, quiz was all identification. DAMN!

yeah hopefully today will be better. =(

Monday, July 6, 2009

As the title says I have been counting a lot these days. Yep,It clearly means that the big day is drawing near. People are awaiting for that day with glee and anticipation, while I count for the day with anxiety and excitement. 20 more days til the big day! :O

Okay so I ranted about that part, on to more important things. One, well last saturday was the debut of my best friend and she looked stunning on her hot pink dress! :D That Saturday, my hair was in curls :)) EECK!! HAHA just kidding. I was also a part of the 18 candles. :) The food was great HHAAAHA!! The desserts were yummy too! :D Really had a fun time at Jay's debut! :D

Then I bought a new book while I was gift shopping for Jay last Friday. It was also the reason why I was super late in class. Haha but it's okay. I was only marked late. :) Promise that will be the first and LAST! :D And for the record, the book I bought for myself is called Do hard things. It speaks about teenagers rebelling against LOW EXPECTATIONS. Its written by teens for teens. Authors are actually the younger brothers of well known author Joshua Harris(I kissed Dating goodbye series).

Then I have a feeling that someone is mad at me. I dunno why but its not like that person not to talk to me. Hmmm... i wonder what is wrong? Argh! I dont like having enemies! :( awwww.... friend! Don't be mad at me! D:

I have less than 4 hours of school and tomorrow I have classes for 12 straight hours! :( 7am-7pm classes. I feel like I could die there. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE!!!!! I need to breathe! :O

Okay I gotta go! Will blog again when I have the time... D:

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Wish me all the best... :3

Its July

Which means that the big day is 26 days away... :/ I dunno if I should be happy or not. Happy because finally all those months of planning will finally pay off. Not happy because then the school year will be in full swing and I am uncertain if majority of my invited guests from uste and jubilee will come. Aiya. Okay I dont have much to say yet. Maybe I'll blog later. :3