darn I miss him, yet i know he doesnt anymore.. its too much already that its killing me.. :| *sigh* why is forgetting so hard? :(

and I am afraid of losing you. I kept on crying lately and I cant console myself because there is no one to comfort m, no one to tell me that everything is going to be okay. I kept on praying to ask for peace but I cant find it. I feel so hurt, so tired and I want someone to tell me that you will not make that decision.

as the title has said, i am too upset right now. many things has been happening and i dont think i can bear the ostracism anymore. its indirect but you can feel how much it hurts and the worst part is that i cant do anything because its as if everyone has decided. :( i just dont know what to do... i wanna scream i wanna cry i want to resolve this but people acts as if there is no need to resolve the issue. why wont people do that? is it because pride dictates them to do so? i dont want this i dont want this..

*have a blessed year ahead! :) God bless :D

body image issues

When you felt so alone from your class. That everyone hates you? Yeah, that's what I feel right now. I mean okay there is a problem with me, I'm trying my best to fix that problem so that others wont be affected by that problem.

But no. Instead people decide to butt in with my business and does something drastic and now I'm very much afraid of what lies ahead. I mean okay, it does look distracting and all but they could have been frank with it. I mean really now,you can just say it straight in my face "STOP IT, IT'S DISTRACTING!" I mean I listen to comments and criticisms calmly and I take it in. But instead someone had the guts to do something else.

And now I'm upset. Very very upset. I tried to sleep over it last night but no. I cant sleep well and I'm very much frustrated. I just wish P3 was more considerate. I don't want this to happen in the first place. what's done is done. We are only capable of doing damage control and other measures and that's what we plan to do. I will come out stronger after this... no, not I- WE will come out stronger after this. Strong enough that no one can say anything against us again. for too long I have been considerate and quiet, I don't involve everyone with my problems and all, only my close friends. But those people have gone too far. Too far to be exact. From first year til now, I endured every teasing every rumor in silence because I don't want to be affected by what these people are saying. But it is simply too much... thank you for ruining my day...

and I'm BORED =|

haha since very few people read this blog (and i love the people who do), here's what's been happening lately :3

I. Exam update
Exams are finally over! Yipee! :D Finally i can say goodbye to the sleepless nights for now, and say hello to a 3 week vacation! <3 The exams though wasn't that easy. o.o Here is a short summary of the exams i took:

Monday: Philippine Literatures and Experimental Psychology Lec
Phil Lit- I guess i don't need to say much on Phil Lit. It wasn't that hard, it's a bit confusing but I know for sure that i'll pass on that subject. I'll definitely miss Sir Pads' discussions even though it can be pretty much boring at times.
Expe Lec- In expe lec on the other hand, the exam was not that easy. I guess it's because Sir B wasn't the one who made the exam, and the prof who made the exam.. well I haven't encountered her yet, so yeaaa.. the exam was kinda confusing o.o

Tuesday: Abnormal Psychology and Industrial-Organizational Psychology
-I still don't understand why these two subjects have to be taken in one day =| I mean come on... from Anxiety Disorders to Schizophrenia D: and then like 5 chapters of IO D:
Ab Psych- yeaa... it's one of my fave subjects during this sem.. studying about mental disorders was fun~ :P but the amount of material to study.. D: dooom! =| well the exam was not that easy but i'm pretty much confident that i can pass the subject :3
IO psych- well i started studying for this subject first compared to Ab psych because well i haven't studied IO that much.. but the exam was okay i guess...

Wednesday: Current Issues in Psychology
- well studying 6 articles is easy, but understanding them is a different story.. and over analyzing can give you a headache O.O the exams are a bit confusing and I'm a bit uncertain if I can pass the subject.. I hope I can pass the subject.. *crosses fingers*

Thursday: Psychodiagnostics Lec and Lab
Diag Lec- yeaa.. I'm scared for this subject as well. it could have been fun but the prof... D: I often worried about this subject o.o I really don't wanna fail this subject... I really studied hard for it o.o The exam was easier or I really did my best :3 haha all the best for diag lec
Diag Lab- LABO! =| ever so malabo =| *crosses fingers* prays to pass

so yeaa that's about it. Grades will be released this friday :-s and I'm scared o.o very much scared o.o

II. Sembreak :3
Almost halfway through the first week of my break and I guess i have been "productive." Since it's my break, it's usually spent in front of the TV and computer games. O.O Luckily, i often go out so there seems to be a balance between the things I'm doing right now.. :)) There are challenges on facebook which are really funny and interesting at the same time. Then yea.. I have been watching some movies some of my friends recommended; unfortunately since I'm a bit of a movie bipolar, i tend to watch until the middle then i would stop watching the movie and do something else.

oh well i'll stop for now :3 borreeeddd D: