Most of these are from lovelandia




"Stop"
i stoped wearing your shirt to bed...
so i dont think of you at night...
i stoped calling...
thinking i would be alright
i stoped leaving you messages...
you dont answer anyway
i stoped talking about you...
thinking i would be ok
i stoped pretending that you love me...
because i dont believe that lie
i stoped wanting you to call me...
because i dont want to cry
i stoped wishing you were mine...
i dont want you anymore
i stoped thinking that you cared...
because i know i want it more




"Eclisped Heart"
Sometimes I wonder,
Why I seem so doomed to be alone,
I Wished for months,
He'd love me,
Because my heart flutters,
When he wraps his arms around me
And I wish I could stop it,
But it refuses.

But I know,
I need to move on,
Because he's too dumb,
To realize how numb,
I'm becoming.
All because the pain he put my heart and soul through.

I should have never let him in,
My light would have never dimmed,
I would still be as happy and bright,
As I was before, everything would still be alright.
But loving him eclipsed my heart into pure shadow,
And made it as cold as ice.

I hoped for so long,
He'd be my savior,
Because he saved me from so much danger,
But it didn't mean a thing,
He was just being kind,
And I was just being blind,
There was no connection,
Like I and so many others thought,
There was just a wall that couldn't be torn apart.

It seems so wrong to me now,
What I thought was so right.
I should have realized,
This poor eclipsed heart,
Would never be saved by someone such as him,
I don't deserve his smile,
His eyes,
Or anything I now wish to despise.

I only wish this poor eclipsed heart,
Causes those blue eyes to cry,
And that his wonderful smile,
Turns to a frown,
When I'm around.
Because he'll think that,
He could have saved this poor eclipsed heart,
If only he tried.




"Why?"
As the rain falls and the sky
turns dark and gray my first thought
was of you and if you thought of me today.

I wonder where you are even tho
i know you're not that far and i feel
the paindown deep in my heart,but i know
that we have to be apart

as the day comes to an end, i
close my eyes i ask God why?
our love we must hide.



"Surrender"
I can’t get through this night in peace
I’m lying awake when I ought to be dreaming
Once again your face haunts me
Once again, my soul surrenders

To the memory of a better life
To the times that were treasured so much
To the beauty you possessed
When you were in love with me

To the way your eyes used to shine
To the way you turned me on
To the way I would just stare at you
When you didn’t know I was

To the talks that we used to have
To the long nights we shared
To the comfort of your embrace
And the way your kisses used to taste

To the intimacies that were shared
To the smell of your perfume
To the first time you told me you loved me
And meant it with all of your heart

And while I want to be sleeping,
Preparing for yet another day
I can’t get you out of my mind
You are all I ever see

I can fight it all I want
I can think about a million other things
But it always comes back to the one I love
Always, forever, surrendering to you



"Existence"
Unwanted.
Unloved.
There they go again...

Fighting.
Kicking.
Screaming.

For every word
that gets spoken,
tears another piece
of her heart away.

Isolation.
Depression.
Anger.
Hatred.

Everyday the same.
Seems like it will never be changed.

As the darkness consumes her,
the more she drifts away.
Without knowning.
Wiyhout wanting to.

No one listens.
No one notices her.
Its like she isnt there.
Its like she doesnt exist.

What will happen if,
she slits her wrist and
as she watches the blood pour,
she dies?

Would you notice her then?
Would you regret the words
that you said?

Would you listen to her then?
Would you try to save her
from the death she
is heading towards?

Would you?
Or would you carry on..
your everyday life?
Pretending?
Ignoring?
The true fact that
she lived at all?

Unwanted.
Unloved.
There they go again...

No one listens.
NO one notices her.
Its like she isnt there.
Its like she doesnt exist.