*have a blessed year ahead! :) God bless :D

body image issues

When you felt so alone from your class. That everyone hates you? Yeah, that's what I feel right now. I mean okay there is a problem with me, I'm trying my best to fix that problem so that others wont be affected by that problem.

But no. Instead people decide to butt in with my business and does something drastic and now I'm very much afraid of what lies ahead. I mean okay, it does look distracting and all but they could have been frank with it. I mean really now,you can just say it straight in my face "STOP IT, IT'S DISTRACTING!" I mean I listen to comments and criticisms calmly and I take it in. But instead someone had the guts to do something else.

And now I'm upset. Very very upset. I tried to sleep over it last night but no. I cant sleep well and I'm very much frustrated. I just wish P3 was more considerate. I don't want this to happen in the first place. what's done is done. We are only capable of doing damage control and other measures and that's what we plan to do. I will come out stronger after this... no, not I- WE will come out stronger after this. Strong enough that no one can say anything against us again. for too long I have been considerate and quiet, I don't involve everyone with my problems and all, only my close friends. But those people have gone too far. Too far to be exact. From first year til now, I endured every teasing every rumor in silence because I don't want to be affected by what these people are saying. But it is simply too much... thank you for ruining my day...

and I'm BORED =|

haha since very few people read this blog (and i love the people who do), here's what's been happening lately :3

I. Exam update
Exams are finally over! Yipee! :D Finally i can say goodbye to the sleepless nights for now, and say hello to a 3 week vacation! <3 The exams though wasn't that easy. o.o Here is a short summary of the exams i took:

Monday: Philippine Literatures and Experimental Psychology Lec
Phil Lit- I guess i don't need to say much on Phil Lit. It wasn't that hard, it's a bit confusing but I know for sure that i'll pass on that subject. I'll definitely miss Sir Pads' discussions even though it can be pretty much boring at times.
Expe Lec- In expe lec on the other hand, the exam was not that easy. I guess it's because Sir B wasn't the one who made the exam, and the prof who made the exam.. well I haven't encountered her yet, so yeaaa.. the exam was kinda confusing o.o

Tuesday: Abnormal Psychology and Industrial-Organizational Psychology
-I still don't understand why these two subjects have to be taken in one day =| I mean come on... from Anxiety Disorders to Schizophrenia D: and then like 5 chapters of IO D:
Ab Psych- yeaa... it's one of my fave subjects during this sem.. studying about mental disorders was fun~ :P but the amount of material to study.. D: dooom! =| well the exam was not that easy but i'm pretty much confident that i can pass the subject :3
IO psych- well i started studying for this subject first compared to Ab psych because well i haven't studied IO that much.. but the exam was okay i guess...

Wednesday: Current Issues in Psychology
- well studying 6 articles is easy, but understanding them is a different story.. and over analyzing can give you a headache O.O the exams are a bit confusing and I'm a bit uncertain if I can pass the subject.. I hope I can pass the subject.. *crosses fingers*

Thursday: Psychodiagnostics Lec and Lab
Diag Lec- yeaa.. I'm scared for this subject as well. it could have been fun but the prof... D: I often worried about this subject o.o I really don't wanna fail this subject... I really studied hard for it o.o The exam was easier or I really did my best :3 haha all the best for diag lec
Diag Lab- LABO! =| ever so malabo =| *crosses fingers* prays to pass

so yeaa that's about it. Grades will be released this friday :-s and I'm scared o.o very much scared o.o

II. Sembreak :3
Almost halfway through the first week of my break and I guess i have been "productive." Since it's my break, it's usually spent in front of the TV and computer games. O.O Luckily, i often go out so there seems to be a balance between the things I'm doing right now.. :)) There are challenges on facebook which are really funny and interesting at the same time. Then yea.. I have been watching some movies some of my friends recommended; unfortunately since I'm a bit of a movie bipolar, i tend to watch until the middle then i would stop watching the movie and do something else.

oh well i'll stop for now :3 borreeeddd D:

1.The cellphone rings, who do you want it to be?
- anyone important i guess :3
2 . When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
- sometimes
3. If you had to kiss again the last person you kissed, would you?
- hmm.. maybe?
4. Do you take compliments well?
- you could say that
5. Do you play Sudoku
- yea... pretty good at it too :P
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
- well yeaa... that’s where scouting skills are put to the test XD
7. If your house were on fire, what would be the first thing you would save?
- my family and legal papers
8. Who was the last person you slept in the bed with?
- shobe :3
9. Who do you text the most?
- Ruthiiieee!!
10. Favorite children's book?
- Sweet Valley Series XD
11 . Eye color?
- dark brown sometimes i wear green contacts :P
12. How tall are you?
- around 5”2 i think... o.o
13. If you could do it over again, start from scratch, would you?
- do what over again?
1 4. Any secret admirers?
- naah... i dont think so... D:
15. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
- where dat? :P
16. Favorite ex..?
- never had a boyfrienddd... O.O *forever alonnnee T___T*
17. Where was the furthest place you traveled?
- Singapore <3
1 8. Do you like mustard?
- mmm... mustaarrrdd XD
19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
-SLEEEP <3 
21. Do you miss anyone
- yeaa... o.o
22. Can you do splits?
- maybe with a little practice i can XD
23. What movie do you want to see right now?
- The Social Network
24 . What did you do for New Year's Eve?
- Eat. Laugh. Pray. 
25. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
- havent watched it O____O
27. Was your mom a cheerleader?
- nope
28. Whats the last letter of your middle name?
- O
30 . How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
- depends usually i get 6-8 hours of sleep, but if i have to pull an all nighter i usually end up not getting any sleep at all 
31 . Do you like care bears?
- dont like them at all
32 . What do you buy at the Movies?
- popcorn and soda XD
33. Do you know how to play poker?
- i wanna learn :P
34. Do you wear your seatbelt?
- yes. Esp when i drive :3
35. What do you wear to sleep?
- shirt/tank top, short/ jogging pants
36. Anything big ever happen in your CITY?
- campagin period for Barangay elections... BORING =))
37. Is your hair straight or curly?
- straight :P
38. Is your tongue pierced?
- nooo... o.o
39. Do you like Liver and Onions?
- not fond of them =|
40. Do you like funny or serious people better?
- a combination of both :3
41. Ever been to L.A.?
- soon i guess XD
42. What is on your mind right now?
- tumblr, blogger, facebook, productivity rates =))
43.A ny plans 4 tonight?
- chat with friends until 2am, and sleep :P
44 . Whats your fav. song at the moment?
- So Close
4 5. Do you hate chocolate?
- i love chocolate XD
46 . What do you and your parents fight about the most?
- we dont fight. We only argue about my lack of sleep
47. Are you a gullible person?
- not really 
48. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
- no. I choose to be happy on a daily basis
49. If you could have any job what would it be?
- a Clinical Psychologust/ photographer/ pastry chef :3
50 . Are you easy to get along with?
- well yea, unless you dont like me ;)
51. What is your favorite time of day?
- night time :P
52 . Are you generally a happy person?
- yea i guess so 

weee Saturdays are fun. most especially when you know that you are not just gonna be glued in front of the computer doing nothing. HAHA!! :)) anyhow i managed to accomplish a lot within the day. :)

first I completed the case studies and the diagnostic criteria for pain disorder and body dysmporphic disorder. *YEY! i can do etiology and epidemiology tomorrow! ;3 and then at church, SUPER FUN! :D we played guesstures which was very much competitive! :)) dont blame me for something so fun! :P losing team will eat the extra spicy meat floss (ma hu) from Singapore! :)) I would rather finish the wasabi flavored one rather than the spicy one but both are oh so yummy! <3 :) and we feasted on a lot of food while playing guesstures! <3 I want to buy my own! HAHA! <3 :) and seeing Achi Miriam after 3 months is worth it! <3 :) more games! :D

anyhow i'll stop now i'm not actually in the blogging mood right now. :P

Its official. School is taking a toll on me and will turn me into a mindless zombie robot.

Wait why am i even saying such things? o.o *backtracks a bit

okay so this is how it goes. yesterday, the results of the exams were given to us. I was praying really really hard for a miracle in certain subjects. I passed CIP which is a relief for me. I FAILED in Expe lab. TERRIBLY FAILED! >.< *dies* In Expe Lec, i passed but i was hanging on a thin thread. One mistake can fail me. In Phil Lit, the results were not out so maybe by Wednesday I would see the scores. I failed in IO also but the strain was not as terrible compared to Expe Lab. :|

Today, in expe lab, they gave the results of the experimental reports. One of the reports was a high grade *whew!* and the other one was a low one *facepalm*. From happy Cia, my mood changed into a GROAR mode! I hate hate hate myself for not giving my best in the reports. and with a failing grade in the prelim exam... I can smell DOOM! :| *must be optimistic about the results, must strive harder*

The biggest surprise in my entire sem came from Ab Psych. I expected to fail terribly in the exam. Coz no matter how hard I studied for that exam I was at a loss. But then, OMG! I GOT A FREAKIN 81/100! :D that pulled up my grades. ALOT! :) I was very much happy but at the same time, the whole experience was humbling to say the least. But like in my other subjects, i know I must NOT moan and cry around for my failing grades, I must strive harder than I did before.

Over all, I can't make a sound judgment if I did well or not this sem yet, since I haven't gotten the results of the last 3 exams: DIEag lec, DIEag lab, and Phil lit. Maybe I'll blog about it when I get the results in the days to come.

Then I have to say hello to 2 things: schoolwork and sleepless nights. :O Lord give me strength to do this. Most importantly, help me to guard my heart.

I'm a gonna go for now. Boredom seeps in when you're waiting for your sundo *the more I wanna commute home right now HAHA!! :P

Okay so this is prelims week and I must not be in my right mind to post something at this time :| *I should be studying Current Issues in Psych, oh well, my brain is in need of rest from the trauma* Anyhow, like I said, it's prelims week and everyone is almost looking forward to the end of the week. I can't wait for another praise and worship practice on my part haha! I'm so psyched for the Youth Sunday on the 22nd! :P

First things first, below is the schedule of my prelims.

Monday- Experimental Psych Lec & Lab
Tuesday- Psychodiagnostics Lec & Lab
Wednesday- Abnormal Psych & I/O Psych
Thursday- Current Issues in Psychology
Friday- Philippine Literatures

We were placed in room 130 and the other half was placed in room 328 (which is a lab btw, I dunno how they do the exams there). Our exams is from 1300-1500 hours with 1 hour per exam. Which means my exams tomorrow and on Friday will only be from 1300-1400 hours only *yeah!*.

Last Monday, we had our exams of Expe Lec and Expe Lab. Prior to the day of the exam, I have been asking around how our prof makes an exam. One of the people I asked mentioned that it wasn't our prof who made the test but another prof whom I never encountered in my entire stay in USTe. That sent a wave of panic on my part since I don't have much of an idea what will happen. Fast forward to last Monday, Expe Lec scared me a bit but not enough to trigger blocking in my system. IT WAS THE LAB WHICH DID! :| I was like: !@#$%?> WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! :| I didnt recall studying for BMA III. I recall studying for Experimental Lab! Where did expe lab go?! T____T

Tuesday. DIEag day :| It was better than Expe Lec&Lab. Still the exam wasn't that easy and it wasn't that hard either. It's confusing but it was okay for me. *SKIIP!*

Wednesday- TODAY :| @#$%^!?*!@#$ AB Psych- the most traumatic exam for the week. Like what the?! I only scanned through the Culture-bound syndromes. *my bad:| darn it! I didnt get enough sleep studying for that subject! I slept at 3am coz my brain can't take all the reviewing. IO Psych was the subject that made me feel better but then the exam it was also quite puzzling at certain items. After the exam, I went straight to ministop and got myself some comfort food coz the exam killed my brain and my self-concept :|

I dunno what happens tomorrow or on friday. :( I havent studied CIP yet and I dunno when I will. Another round of technical readings :| whoopdedooo... :|

I got this from my tumblr which i posted around a week ago :P



Okay, since my body clock has been jeopardized, i decide to share a little something that happened to me this week. :) First of all, this is the week before our pelim exams, which means profs are rushing lectures and deadlines. Since our profs turn that crappy paranoid, we students have to pay the price. Of course sleep is starting to become non-existent and nothing enters my mind except Psych, Psych, Psych, Psych. *no it’s not the tv series* oh and the experimental psych reports in expe lab which can turn even the most civil of people into zombies. :))

okay so about the experimental reports. For one, they are a requirement so we have no escape for that, but i guess its okay since its kinda helpful in the enhancement of some of our skills. This week though, it has been too much for the whole class. Original plan was to submit the report for experiment 4 AND 5 last Tuesday. Thankfully, last Monday, our professors were considerate enough to extend the deadline of experiment 5. Unfortunately for me, that Monday night, THERE WAS NO INTERNET! :| So imagine a Psych major panicking to her groupmates via text that she has no internet. :| I wouldnt have been panicking if I wasn’t tasked with the discussion… o.o

so right now you might be wondering where does starbucks come in… read on

the next day, I went to starbucks to help with whatever i can with the discussion. When our groupleader showed me the discussion that my partner made the night before, i was dumbstruck. She did the discussion very well! As in everything *the whole experiment* was well written! *Kudos to Shek! :D* I found it a challenge to even add something to the discussion, but I managed to add a sentence or two but that’s just about it.

Wednesday night came, which was last night. Everyone was cramming for the next experiment which has to be submitted the next day. This time I was tasked with the introduction with a different partner. I was armed with 2 things, the photocopied, and articles of the related lit and 2 liters of mountain dew. :)) Last night has been hectic! I mean i was already struggling with the related lit and one extraneous after another extraneous variable comes and brings me one step closer to insanity. I was reading the related lit until 12mn, and after that i started typing what my brain can give me. And by 3am, I finished the 2 liters of mountain dew and I was literally shaking. O______O Fortunately by 3am, me and my parnter finished the introduction which was a huge relief! So i was preparing to go to bed when I realized that I need to go to starbucks to finish the whole thing, which made me more motivated to sleep until, I RELAIZED I COULDNT GET A WINK OF SLEEP! Mountain dew was still in full effect… which made sleeping take a while. :|

Okay so 7am I woke up feeling like crap a zombie. I rushed to go to school as early as I can and I ended up in starbucks again. Editing and adding whatever we can add in the experiment. We managed to finish around 30 minutes before classes start. Enough time to actually review for Ab Psych. :))

Okay so I’m about to wrap up this post but then I forgot to add that Starbucks is starting to become my home away from UST :)) I have been consuming nothing but Starbucks coffee and pastries everytime I go there for the experimental reports.. :| I’m broke already :((

Oh and one last thing: KUDOS TO MY GROUPMATES! :D ♥♥♥ YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST, EVEN WHEN WE ARE ALL LOSING IT AT THE SAME TIME! :)) *Kuya Lucky, Kuya Nat, Ate Denise, Dane, Shek, Cactus and Ronz!*

I dont understand why but i have the impulse to blog on public places. such places are he library and the coffee shops. yes weird much, you can say, but for me, i dont care! HAHA!! :P

anyhow, today classes are not gonna start until 1pm which gives me around 3 more hours to bum around! teehee! :P the best part is that there are no papers to submit nor any school works to do! odd? yes indeed since we have been bombarded with a lot of school works eversince june. i also find my tuesday, thursday classes are much more relaxing unlike the monday, wednesday, and friday classes. The friday classes are the most stressful of all the days of the week. having classes from 9 until 6pm are not fun at all.

*edit: oh drat! i forgot to do something important! :| anyhow...*

a while ago, i also finished doing something of great importance to me as a psych major. i finally managed to sign up in helping out at ustet! which can benefit me with the extra experience. HAHA!! :) it was weird standing around the OSA office with all the applicants for the scholarship. it's so stressful just to get a scholarship right now. you have a lot of competition. you have to prove to the people why you deserve one as well.

then yesterday *this post is getting way too random :))* but yeah yesterday, i attended the Scarlet GA which was entitled Ignite. sheesh! I feel so old with all the first year students with me. :O The leaders were very nice and very much entertaining. I'm glad that the event was successful. Also for the Psych freshmen day last saturday! :) It was fun to interact with all the first year students. I never felt so old in psych =)) I was glad that i met a lot of new friends not only from the first year but also from the second, third *YEEEY!* and fourth year. The first year students were very much curious on who the profs are and what their styles in teaching are. to say the least, it was very encouraging to see them very much interested in what they are doing. oh and i'm not called ate by some. most of the first year students call me mommy. i dont even have a boyfriend yet and i already turned into a mommy monkey with seven freshies as my kids! Family! <3

okay here is another random thing to talk about: FIFA world cup. in all honesty i wasnt that pleased with the results of the world cup. I'm definitely turning that octopus into calamari when i get my hands on it. grrr... >:( I really wanted Netherlands to win! boo spain! :| stupid referee! It could have been more exciting if it was tied. Then there would be another game and that would be so much fun! Oh well i must move on there is still 2014 Worldcup in BRAZIL! :D *must stay positive. must stay positive. :)

Okay i'll stop here, i feel like sleeping on a different section in the library this time... HAHAHA!! go juniors! goo psych! :)

with love,
cia :)

and i am a total bum.... kidding! :p

so yeah summer is almost over and the rainy season is gonna start in around a week. this summer has been okay, i guess its better than last summer since i wasnt confined that much to my laptop. haha anyhow, i took driving school so that i can have the skill and i wanna go out badly! HAHA!! boo for wrong motives. but then learning how to drive is an investment :)

okay so i was at facebook and i saw this likepage: If you dont wanna ruin your friendships, dont fall in love. well i guess that's what i should do right now. its kinda of a selfish thing but maybe i should not fall for anyone. i should fall more deeply in love with God because He is the one who has been sustaining me throughout the times. :) throughout the joy and the sadness, God has always been there. the times i have hurt and cried over the smallest of things, God saw it no matter how shallow those tears are, no matter how deep I find myself, I still see God and its a comfort.

What else can I say? Its summer again and this summer is flaming HOT HOT HOOOTT!! :)

Okay i'll step back and share what has been happening recently.

1. GRADES!
2. Family Camp
3. Relatives Coming in
4. Schedules for June
5. DRIVING SCHOOL! :D

*wheew! long update! I hope I am up for it! :P heehee ;)

1. Grades!
-Grades were released the week after family camp! and all I can say is PRAISE GOD! :) God has been gracious throughout the school year even though my school year ended with a broken friendship. God has been faithful in helping me study for my finals despite my depression over losing a friend.
So here are my grades...

a big WHEW! :)

2. Family Camp
-Family camp is fun fun fun fun fun fun funnnn!! :) This year it was held at Caliraya Recreation Center in Laguna. It was like a 4 hour drive from manila to laguna. Traffic was unpredictable (lol), but getting there was worth it. It was 4 days of fun, hard-hitting messages, games, and weird friends :> weird friends are the best! :> and then i couldn't swim! :( BOO!!! then my roommates are not my family but with friends! YEEY friends! <3 and then, more bonding time with old friends... :) I suddenly wanna go back to camp hihihi ;p

3. Relatives Coming in
-Yep, my aunt is coming back tomorrow. Since she's coming back tomorrow, BOOM! Off goes summer cleaning this morning. It was exhausting!, but at the same time rewarding because one, there are 2 beds in my room and second, shobe's room is finally fixed from all the stuffs XD haha! messy room :P

4. Schedules for June
-June, ACK JUNIOR YEAR! OH MYYY!! How time flies! Next year its gonna be 2011! and 2011 is USTe's 400th Anniversary! Like YEEEEEYYY!!! <3 party party party! :) and i'm very happy because AAA!!! No more 7am classes!! :D whoopppeee!!! <3 I'll post the sched next time, when I feel like it! HAHA!! Yaiii Lazy girl! :))All i can say is that it was like 2nd year 1st sem sched... minus the 7am classes, but then my classes are gonna end pretty late :| aw boo! :( oh well! :))

5. DRIVING SCHOOL!
-Finally! But then I'll start learning how to drive by first week of May. And hopefully I can get my professional license by June. Heehee;p oh well let's just see what will happen after the next few weeks shall we? :P

and in all honesty i am not in the mood to actually blog right now. but for the sake of writing i will. well a lot has been happening lately and i sometimes i end up surprised that so many things have happened in a short span of time. maybe that is how things are, its too fast paced. maybe God is telling me something. I just have to find out what it is.