Except for the weird jolibee burger feeling in my tummy, I guess I dont feel as sad as I did yesterday. Bipolar much. O.O Maybe I shouldn't take things too seriously. Me and my shallowness. o.o I wont let my "emoness" get the best of me today. I want to have a good day not an emo day. :)

Well for today I'm excited for the fellowship later. I hope I can make and cultivate new relationships with the new comers. :)I also hope that the invisible barrier will be destoyed. :P

It's weird that I dont have much to say these days. Oh well to play or not to play world of goo? :))


Oh wait before I leave my "non-existent" blog, I just wanna share this, yeah I have been playing country story, another playfish game. :) Yeeey Playfish! Although I stopped playing RC, for the time being. :P

Yeah title pretty says what is going through my mind. I dont wanna eat Jolibee at night anymore because last night I ate a burger but then the food seemingly dosent want to be digested in any way! So I'm like, "Okay I have to let the food digest properly" So I stayed up until 2am until the weird queasy feeling was gone. argh my tummy still feels weird right now. :O

It's Only The Fairy Tale
Yuki Kajiura

Who are those little girls in pain
just trapped in castle of dark side of moon
Twelve of them shining bright in vain
like flowers that blossom just once in years
They're dancing in the shadow like whispers of love
just dreaming of a place where they're free as dove
They've never been allowed to love in this cursed cage
It's only the fairy tale they believe


The lyrics truly reflect what I feel. :|I'll never be allowed to love in the cursed cage called pain. =| Emo much again. Hay oh well, truth found out, back to reality.

Well I'm still here... it's been a while since school has been piling up on me again. Well for now, I'm taking a break from studying and I decided to blog quickly before I finish studying for the night.

Yey 10am prelims schedule. :D

Currently studying theories and statistics. What a challenging combination but of course there are worse combination HAHA!! :)) Oh well, i gotta go. Blog again on Thursday! :D must fix stuff must fix stuff! OC mode OC mode! Exam permit, Calculator, Mongol number 2, books, sanity, ballpen, TONS OF FAITH!

The title actually is a song. Haha but then last night was super fun. It was one heck of an adventure. Yep you guessed it right. Last night was my debut. Finally after a year of planning, everything went well. Despite the rain, the people still came. :) I feel super blessed last night because of the people, the bonding, everything :D

Thanks to everyone who went :)

anyways here is the lyrics of Roses of May

LYRICS:

her heart underneath
cries quietly
this part of me
I choose not to see

what lives must I take
for fealty's sake?
how much blood must stain
this warrior's blade?

war leaves its trail
in moonlight so pale
its shadows they flow
in rivers, in rivers
so put on my mask
I'll go where they ask
so I might once again see the
Roses of May

Staining my soul and stinging my eyes
the red on my hands
won't wash away, wash away
no where to run from what I have done
I'm no longer, no longer
a Rose of May

fate holds the blade before you
mirrored in maiden's eyes
far from myself I fly
into the perilous skies
and they said
follow the blade before you
fear fall and courage rise
leave all your tears behind you
far from where innocence lies

Cage of the kings
No need for wings
So turn them to stone
from roses to bone

when you look at me
what do you see?
this costume I weave
disfiguring me...

(chorus A)

Storm clouds are creeping closer
danger is drawing near
why am I not protecting all that
I once held dear?
and you said
break free from all that holds you
kings hand and maiden's tear
run now into my arms
together we'll conquer our fears

Led here by fate
No longer afraid
So here now I lay
My Roses of May

When I try to feel my heartbeat against my chest, everytime it makes me want to cry for one reason. My heart beats for God. :)

To be honest,I wasnt really planning to type that. Instead, I was gonna say that memories suddenly resurfaced when I was with this guy. Now, i dont think that mindset will last... God has been telling me about dependence on His will. Even if submission is the hardest thing to do, I want to because I love God for who He is in my life.


Okay. 3 days... :|

And Instead of studying my lessons, I'm here blogging. Great. =/ Okay so since I have a lot to study I'll make this quick. The gown arrived just hours ago and is now hanging in my room. The mannequin is also here but I moved it to the other room. HAHA!

And guess what tomorrow is HELL DAY! WHEEE!!! :| Have to study for Chem Lab and Educ psych for a quiz. We also have ethics and TOP recitation. and I cannot be ignorant this time... booo.... =| For the record, Adler is an interesting person to study. His ideas are a bit parallel to Freud's but then since they worked before their friendship ending sourly, I'm not surprised with the contrast.

Oh well. Back to work.

3 days 20 hours 59 minutes left til the day. All the best. :)

-Cia