by Within Tempation

If I tell you
Will you listen?
Will you stay?
Will you be here forever?
Never go away?
Never thought things would change, hold me tight
Please don't say again that you have to go

A bitter thought
I had it all
But I just let it go
Hold your silence
It's so violence since you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
'Till the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

If I had told you
You would've listened
You had stayed
You would be here forever
Never went away

It would never have been all the same
All our time what have been in vain
Cause you had to go

The sweetest thought
Had it all
Cause I did let you go
All our moments keep me warm
When you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
'Till the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

I don't feel like myself today. Argh! I knew I shouldn't have slept yesterday during the afternoon. Now I feel all groggy and tired and haggard! And stressed! I couldn't get a wink of sleep last night, I always end up waking up from some nightmare that I don't remember. I don't think I even reached stage 3 of sleep. I always seem to wake up every 2 hours and then I would sit up and then wait and ponder, and then I would lie down and try to close my eyes but then my brain would start projecting images of horrifying things that I cant seem to recall. Then I would attempt to soothe myself but then nothing still seems to have worked. Darn it! I would definitely not sleep late this afternoon. Its only a pain in the ass if I do that.

Anyway so instead of waking up super late today, my biological clock woke me up at around 8am. 4 hours after waking up at around 4am. Darn it! My brother was still sleeping like a log when I woke up and he did not have any trouble sleeping unlike me! That is so unfair!

So leaving that part behind, after taking a shower, my mom told me to go downstairs to see a nice surprise. My Aunt dropped by and she gave me a dress that my cousins picked for me.:) Awwww that's so sweet! *hugs to my cousins! :)and she also returned the magazines that I lent for my cousin who is going to celebrate her 18th on September. :) Whew! All us girls in Mom's side are having debuts whether we like it or not. Ugh! Oh well, I have to obediently follow the traditions.

I'll be back later! :) Tata! :P

I cannot believe that its almost 4pm. And worse, I cannot believe that I slept from 1pm-3pm! Darn it! First of all I dont wanna sleep in the afternoon no matter how lazy/ bummed I get! It causes me bigger problems in my daily routine!

There is one big problem which bring other sub problems with it: INSOMNIA! If I sleep in the afternoon, I find it hard to sleep at night. Period.

The sub problem that goes with it is: since I cannot bring myself to sleep easily tonight, what must I do? It's called boredom at night. I dunno what to do tonight since my sister is sick and still cant sleep in my room (cross out the late night talks). I also find reading too boring at those times (reading psych books just to finish a report at 2am is a major head ache) even if those are not psych books! Running the computer on a late basis isn't good for it especially since it has recently undergone defraging, and obviously, not everyone I chat with stays during late hours.

Oh darn it what am I supposed to do now?

Yeah like the title says, I'm using someone else's computer as of this moment. Well, I cant do anything since my laptop is defraging. I dunno what defrag means, maybe something to do with fragments. Ack! I dunno. But then like the usual me would say OH WELL! :) At least some of the emotional drain is gone. But i do feel a bit bad discouraging a friend of mine to take the same course as I am taking right now. *I should be encouraging my younger brothers and sisters in Christ but I discouraged them. ducks from flying tomatoes from the invisible audience

Well maybe its the after effect of being emotionally drained. Ugh! Oh well since I'm not that emotional anymore, I guess its on to lighter/ simpler things for now. :) despite the internet mysteriously missing from time to time, i had a short nap which were interrupted by a series of texts from Ruth. Haha! oh well she's the shobe I'm spoiling them. I tried to answer her questions as easily as possible haha she does text hard hitting questions, and I love her to bits for that. :)

My dad made me install a new program which is about cleaning the drive from all the excess unnecessary things. I did try the program on my laptop and woah, off goes 300+ mb of space in my laptop. Hopefully with that my laptop will function faster, and since defraging is going on I hope the laptop really functions to its full potential like it used to be. HAHA! =) tralalala! :)

Darn it the big day is less than 2 months. Luckily, my mom intervened and asked an old friend to help me with something I am super scared about. Its the ROSES!!! I'd better get started with this or else I could faint on the workload on this. Something tells me that July 26 will really be an interesting night.

*yawn! I shouldn't have slept a while ago! I would most probably turn into an insomniac tonight! Since Shobe is sick, she cant sleep in my room which leaves me to sleep all alone tonight. Darn it I'll be awake the whole night. If only I hadnt slept a while ago. Thank you Ruth for waking me up. :)

I'll try to blog back later. HAHA!! =)

I know, its not that often when I get to blog about my emotions. I mean if someone does read my "non-existent blog," they wont be that interested in this topic. I mean my blog is boring enough for some how much more my emotions. Gah. Anyways since no one practically reads this non-existent blog, better blog how this day became emotionally draining for me.

So a while ago was our YSC reunion, and wow the responsibility of the reunion was placed on our hands (our meaning me, Kutchi and Benj). At first it seemed like its impossible to really accomplish something like this. I mean Camp was already the biggest thing and reunion is like camp which is big also. The thought was already too much for someone like me. When the reunion started everything was fine, but when the games came, time was running out and the 3 of us wanted to keep in track of schedule. In the end all ended well, but something wasnt right with my emotional being. I felt depressed again for reasons the heart cannot comprehend.

I guess its the pain with love. Love seems to be out of reach for someone like me. haha oh well, like many say I'm too young for love. Fine I'll focus of studies once school comes. But maybe its better if we really are friends, I mean we see each other at church regularly and we are good friends. yeah friends, i guess that's all we'll ever be.

Because of the weight of love, which hurts the closer one gets,
When our chests were separated too far, I called it freedom

I guess letting go has been harder than I thought.

What does Russell Watson and Yiruma have in common? They are great Musicians!

Okay so for the past few days of roaming around the net, I discovered an old friend whom I absolutely adore! <3 Its none other than Russell Watson. He was the partner of Hayley Westenra when she sang Pokarekare Ana. Its hard to believe that he's 42 when looks like he's in his early 20's!



See! Super cuteee!!! >.< Its also hard to believe that two years ago, he had a brain tumor that had to be removed. Either way, I still love the way he sings the songs especially "Where my heart will take me" <3!!!


Then there is also Yiruma. Shobe was the one who introduced me to this guy and its all because of Twilight. I'm not an avid fan of Twilight or anything, but I'm the type of person who loves classical music even if its from Twilight. SO there with the song "River flows in you," I fell in love with Yiruma's music! :)) *did you think i'm gonna say twilight?! :)) no way!Edward Cullen was never my taste:))*
This is what Yiruma looks like:



Whooo go Yiruma! Support all the way! :)

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RC UPDATE!
School will be starting next week which means my Facebook time/ RC will not be as used as it was during summer. Right now, I'm trying my best to reach level 25 although i don't think it will be that possible.

Currently, I'm at level 24 i wanna reach level 25 but then its like 20k+ to go!!!

and here are the latest in what's happening in my RC:

Well I'm not that bored. I just dont have any idea what to do yet. I guess I'll be finishing the Praise and Worship songs tonight so I dont have any problems with Saturday night. I dont wanna cram it again :)) Technically, that 's what my blog is all about for today, finding something to do since I have been deemed bored beyond reason. Aww man. :))

-Ciao!